The Return | Cricky [C]

Chapter LXXI: The Love Letter

To Ricky, my love,

By the time you read this, I'll be gone. I wish I could tell you when I'll be back, or if I will. All I know is that however this turns out, you'll be okay. If I fail, if I die, you will find your path again and eventually, when the time is right, it'll lead you back to me. In the months I was gone, you grew so much more than you realized. No matter what others tell you or what you may tell yourself, you're still a demon lord. You may have forgotten your strength, but it hasn't left you. That black fire is still raging somewhere inside of you. After all, I doubt a little forest spirit could launch me out of a window like you did. I haven't forgotten what we said to each other right before that happened, what I promised.

I've never been one to break promises. "Real men keep their word. They follow through," my father beat that into my head, and after I was turned, my masters would repeated a similar mantra. What does a killer have to redeem himself besides his fidelity? But when I look back over my life, I always linger on the fact that the two promises I'd broken were the most important, and made to the only two people I've ever loved. It haunts me, despite me knowing that I had to break those promises for good reasons. Ever since Kyoto, Yuki has sworn to me that he didn't care, that he was happy I betrayed my word. Something in the back of my mind keeps telling me you won't be so forgiving. To be honest, my love, I'm utterly terrified that you'll never look at me the same way again. If your hatred is the price I must pay to save you, then so be it.

If, by some amazing stroke of luck, this plan works, I can only pray you'll still claim me. I can't say I haven't thought about it, what it would be like for you and I to be equals. We could rule the world. You've always been my dark prince, my shadow king, but imagining myself in the throne beside you, sitting atop this crazy world, that does bring a smile to my face. It's childish, I know. Love tends to make a terrible hopeless romantic of me. No matter how angry or upset you are reading this letter, I know damn well it's impossible for you not to smile when you think of all the stupid, cheesy shit I do.

I can't tell you how badly I want to see that smile. There's this terrible pain in my chest, like my heart wants to come up my throat. Thinking about how beautiful you are, how happy you make me, the love you've given me, and then realizing I'm putting that all on the line, it makes me sick to my stomach. I don't want to ever be without you, Ricky. I don't want to fall asleep in a coffin that doesn't smell of your cologne ever again. But, all of this pain, all of this misery and risk and distance, I'd do this all over again for you. I'd do it a thousand fucking times. A million. I would do anything for you, my love.

That four letter word, I won't run scared of it anymore. Trust me, I've come to understand the gravity it holds here. If this does kill me, I damn well am not going to die without telling you the truth; I love you, Ricky. My heart and soul. -Chris

Blood. There was so much blood. Part of me wondered if I'd finally died and this was some sort of eternal torment, but even this much, I doubt it could account for the sum of my victims. The 'House of Light' was far from a house and it definitely wasn't filled with light. It was an unsuspecting library on the surface, an archive for old magic and history books. The priests who resided here worked as bookkeeps. However, come sunset, the red light of the sun that only a soul eater could see would illuminate a secret passageway inside the library. And those innocent bookkeeps, they knew when a demon lord to-be was in their midst. They sent away any bystanders, all while keeping a eerie gaze upon me.

They attempted to fight me. I successfully made the gamble that they couldn't see the red passage nor would they follow me. I remembered I did need one of them, and I dragged him through by silver rosary on his neck. He didn't have much fight beyond that point, as if they knew it was their destiny to become sacrificial lambs. The stairwell beyond the passage led deep into the ground until it opened to a massive cavern. My path ended on a narrow cliff that hung several stories above the cavern's floor. And there, that's where I saw the blood. It filled the chamber wall to wall, obstructing any view of the ground. There was no telling how deep it was.