Love And Rejection, Both At First Sight. - Taekook Love Story (2nd Version)

26 - Journal Entries 02.

After taking few minutes to calm himself down, Jungkook looked at the book again.

January 06th.

I'm moved cities again. I think I'm gonna stay here for a while. This is sort of a vacation spot so there are many strangers. I won't be stood out here. While I don't think Sunghoon has given up on finding me but I think the trail is pretty cold now. If he finds me, then let it be. Can't live like a traveler forever Yoona. I'm tired of it.

January 28th.

It's close to a month since I've got here. I met this nice family. They have been looking after me. I can't get a proper job here so I've been helping here and there. Money is not a problem and I can't exactly ask for a job since I'm supposed to be vacationing right. But I like helping a little bit. Maybe I can stay in one place, you know, build a new life. I feel so lost Yoona. Never thought that my life will end up like this.

February 11th.

The owner's daughter asked me if I have a girlfriend today. I think she's interested in me. I told her I'm gay. That should be enough to fix it. But I guess it's time to move again. Relationships are the last thing I need now. The occasional sex was good for the traveler story I'm running with but I don't want to mess with her. Her parents have been nothing but kind to me.

Jungkook felt little irritated at the thought of Taehyung doing it with random strangers. He has read about it few times in the previous entries and always felt annoyed.

March 10th.

I'm finding a new place to settle down. I got the money out of the account. It should be enough to get a place for a year or so. I'm thinking of moving to a rural area where people are pretty much isolated, you know. Maybe hill country. Hopefully I'll be able to find a job there. Not that my degree would be useful. I'll have to get whatever I can. It's about time I change my life around.

March 28th.

I found a place in this small village middle of nowhere. I don't think anyone will be able to find me there. I'm moving tomorrow. Wish me luck Yoona. Hopefully I'll be able to stay there without any issues. I don't want to attach myself to anyone. They'll be in trouble if Sunghoon finds me. But I'm so tired of being alone. Let's see how it goes.

Jungkook realized that this was the day before Taehyung moved to their town. His heart ached at the thought of how alone Taehyung was and how desperately he wished for some companionship. With a shaking hand, Jungkook turned to the next page.

March 29th.

I met Jungkook for the first time today. He was so innocent looking and mesmerizing that I forgot to breathe for a while. Can you believe it Yoona? Why is this happening to me? He looked like a pretty flower just as the ones he was watering. He later came with his friend to welcome me. I didn't want to be rude but I'm scared of the way he looked at me. He looks at me as if he's in love with me. Exactly like how you used to look at me. Right till the moment you closed your eyes.

Jungkook gasped in surprise. What the hell is this?? Why didn't he noticed this?? He only saw the anger and seemingly hatred. If only, if only, he was able to see the pain and struggle behind Taehyung's eyes, he would have never let the man spent another day in loneliness. But wait, did Taehyung said he looked like a pretty flower? Jungkook felt the familiar blush creeping in to his face.

April 5th.

I think I made Jungkook cry today Yoona. I saw him in the morning, he always sits by the window when I go to work. I don't think he saw me though. I met him again at the shop I work at. He came with his friend. Did you see the way he was looking at me with all shy and an open mouth? It was cute. I'm glad he has his friend to save him. He must have felt embarrassed. And then, I was caught off guard when he said hi to me this evening, looking so nervous. And I shut the door in his face, again. I saw him running inside the house and I think I made him cry. But I can't let him get close to me, right Yoona? He has no place in the hell I'm living in.

Jungkook felt his heart ached. He has been hurt but Taehyung was hurt even more. Why wasn't he able to see that?

April 21st.

Jungkook came with food today. It was damn delicious Yoona. Just like the ones we used to have at your friend's place. I hope she's doing well. She was a good friend to us. Apparently, Jungkook's brother has made it. After a long time, I was happy to eat. I must have scared him so much that he was stuttering to get the words out. But he gave me this sweetest smile when I took the food basket from him. Like that littlest thing made him so happy. Is it so bad that I want to keep that smile on his face? Can I dare to hope at least that much? I wonder. For the first time, I feel like I want to fulfil the promise I made you Yoona.

Yes, Jungkook remembered that. He was happy that day.

April 22nd.

Oh Yoona, everything is getting messed up. I knew he must be crying when I yelled at him in the morning but it really hurt when I heard it from his friend. Jimin yelled my head off for making his friend sad. Buy I don't have a choice, right? He's hundred times better off without me. I'm just bad news. I'm glad he has such good friends to take care of him. They will look after him. I wish I had such friends too. But you were my only friend. And you left me all alone. Now I'll just suffer in my hell, alone, for all eternity. That's ok. As long as no one else gets hurt. As long as he's safe

Jungkook was amazed at the depth of Taehyung's affection for him. It all made sense now.

May 20th.

I met with my newfriend today. Hoseok. He's really a funny guy. You know I haven't laughed likethis in a long time Yoona. It felt good. I think I'm gonna like this one. Ireally really need a friend. I met him at Jungkook's diner. I still don't knowwhy I can't stop going to that place. True, that's the only place good enoughto eat here but I don't know whether it's worth the risk. I ask him to stayaway from me but it's I think it's me that have trouble staying away from him.I'm trying but looks like I'm falling miserably. And the look that he gave metoday. I used to get shit scared when you looked at me like that. That lookmeant trouble. It's strange to see that on Jungkook's innocent face. Guess heis not as soft as I thought. There is a tiger in him. I hope to God that Iwon't wake it up.

Jungkook laughed through the tears. Yes, Hobi can make anyone feel better.Gosh!! Taehyung has been reading him like an open book. It was bit humiliatingactually. Guess he can't hide anything.