Loki's Pain

Chapter Five- Dark Secrets

Ash fell into Loki's mind, instantly caught up in a myriad of thoughts and emotions that swirled around him. They buffeted his consciousness with almost overwhelming strength, threatening to drown him with their intensity. Anger, hatred, and a keen betrayal flowed over him like an oceans tide. Ash might have mistaken them as an attack by Maw, if not for one niggling aspect that urged him to follow the threads deeper.

Within moments he was viewing slivers of Loki's memory.

First was a battle. He was fighting against blue-skinned warriors, their skin decorated with elaborate lines. Jotuns, Loki's mind provided. He watched as one of their party was grabbed by the enemy, only for them to die screaming, their body frozen from the enemies touch. He fought back even harder, doing his best to avoid the enemies touch himself, but eventually he failed.

He was stunned for a moment, watching as his own skin began to change, a deep and vibrant blue slowly spreading along his arm. At first he thought he was being frozen, only to realize the truth a second later. The enemy fighter looked equally shocked right up until Loki cut him down.

As soon as the enemy's hand left his skin his arm began to return to it's normal hue. But Loki was left with far too many questions. Questions that could not be ignored. When that memory faded away, it was soon replaced with another. Loki stood inside the relic vault, fear and trepidation swirling inside his heart. He was terrified, really, almost certain he already knew the answer that he sought and reluctant to have final confirmation. Still, despite it all, he reached out and picked up the Casket. It was a relic of the Jotun, and as the power of it rushed over him, his skin slowly changed once more. The blue color spread up from his hands and along his arms, until he could even feel the changes spread across his face. He knew then. There was no more denying it to himself. Only a Jotun could wield the Casket, any other that had tried had died. He was a Jotun, a Frost Giant, a creature he had been told his whole life was little better than a beast. A monster.

The pain he felt in that moment was immense, the pure rage and betrayal was overwhelming. It was little wonder how he reacted when his 'father' showed up a second later. So much hatred and self-loathing was swirling in his gut, and he was left staggered from the realization that his whole life had been a lie. 'Now it makes sense why Father named me the God of Lies...' Ash caught the faint memory of the thought before things began to blur together.

The events that followed brushed by quickly, even in his own mind they were broken and fragmented. Betraying the Jotun, trying to destroy Jotunhime, the fight with Thor, all of it was colored with fear, desperation, and self-hatred. Loki had been broken, his mind screaming, and with one final push, he fell.

Loki was hanging off the bridge, staring up at his father's face.

"I could have done it, Father, for you!" He cried out, his pain apparent on his face.

Odin looked down at him calmly, disapproval in his eyes, along with so much more that Loki refused to see, "No, Loki." He replied softly, his voice gentle.

Those two words shattered his fragile heart, he had lost all hope, so he let go...and fell. He had fully expected to die, for the space between the worlds to rip him apart, or to suffocate from lack of air. He even hoped for it. He had wanted to die, then his pain would have finally ended. He would have likely been thrust down into Helheim to wander in the dark, but at least he'd have been left numb. That would have been better than the utter anguish he was in then.

Next, Ash was confronted with a kaleidoscope of light, flashes and fragments. His body was wracked with pain, his bones broken, and his muscles and skin torn. Later he felt hunger and thirst, both growing stronger and stronger. Eventually desperation dragged his broken body across rocky ground in search of food or water, anything to ease his torment.

"Well what have we here?" He had heard. When that deep baritone voice suddenly echoed in his ears, he was relieved. 'I'm saved!' He had thought then, whether it had been by killing him or healing him, Loki hadn't cared. But Loki would come to curse them not long after.

The owner of that voice had healed him, and made him whole, but only to rip him apart once more. Over and over again, he had been broken and remade. Each time, less and less of himself returned.

Along with that voice, another began to whisper in his thoughts. It was so subtle, so sinuous, that Loki had never suspected it was not his own. It twisted his thoughts and played with his memories. Eventually he lost sight of himself without even realizing it.

Thanos, finally pleased with his minions work, smiled as he sent Loki on his way. Barely healed from the latest torture, Loki had barely been able to walk. But he was determined to subjugate earth, and utterly terrified of failing for fear of what Thanos might do to him next.

Having followed this thread thru Loki's memories, Ash finally had Maw's scent. He could feel his sinister fingers all over Loki's mind. So, turning away from the memories, he began to hunt them down. One by one he pried them free and locked them away. He blocked them behind a wall of mental flame, burning Maw's mind every time he tried to access Loki's thoughts again.

The work was time consuming, and exhausting. Maw's attacks slowly grew stronger and more desperate as he began to lose ground, but Ash wasn't going to stop until Loki was free. When the last one was gone, Ash felt Loki gasp in relief, and his mind began to calm.

It was at that moment that Maw attacked Ash directly, hoping to access Loki's mind once more thru his own. So Ash instantly let Loki's go, cutting the threads that joined their minds so they couldn't be used against him. As the last link was severed he felt Maw's mind close around his like a trap, his icy fingers gouging into him like knives.

Maw's mind was powerful, but it was stretched thin. Maw was reaching across the vastness of space to attack him, and Ash knew Maw wouldn't be strong enough. With one massive thrust of mental power, Ash flung a dagger of pure energy that speared into Maw's mind. It was meant to hurt, to even damage him if possible, but he knew the attack wouldn't be enough to kill him.

Still, Ash felt Maw's pain echoing across the link between them and smiled as Maw screamed in agony before the link was broken. With that, his task was done. Loki was free. But he was so tired, his energy was depleted. He realised too late he had used too much of his power. He couldn't climb back out. He was stuck in his own head now. So he drifted for a long time, his mind floating there in the soothing darkness, content with the knowledge of his success.

Author's Note:

01/16/2024- Minor wording changes and editing. It does change the intonation of some areas, but no major plot changes.

Original chapter notes below:
Ok. This is Chapter 5 already, holy crap!!! I'm enjoying this so far, hope you are too. I've been building up my O.C.'s background for a reason, I promise!! But what about that reveal though!? Right!? He's a Stark!!! His parents worked for Shield!!

This Chapter is a bit shorter than my average, but it seemed like the logical place to break up the story. Sorry. Hope you understand. Also, let me know if you think its too much going on all at once. Im not sure if I paced it too fast or not. Still, any feedback is welcome!! Thank you all for reading!!!