Loki's Pain

Chapter Eleven- Trauma

Trigger Warning!!!!!!
I am putting this here because there are several events within this chapter that people might have issues with. A couple of suicide attempts are one of the first. Later on in this chapter is abuse, torture, and repeated, and graphic rape scenes. So be aware of that if you choose to read this chapter. Feel free to skip it if you do not want to read it, though you may not understand some plot details or references to these events later on in the story due to it. Despite the sensitive nature of these events, they are a part of the plot and at least some of the details provided here will be tied into ongoing plot later on in the novel, hence it's inclusion. Hope you understand. Thank you for your time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm a monster. I'm like a walking disaster....a curse to anyone who comes near me...." Loki muttered brokenly, curled into a corner of the darkened room. "No one is safe..."

"Brother....you must know that is not true. I am still here. I am alive and well..." Thor tried to reason with him, but by now he doubted he'd even get a response. Thor even wondered whether Loki could even hear him.

Loki had been like this for months now. He had not slept, had not eaten, and even refused to drink. He simply sat there in the dark and refused to move, staring off into space, lost in his own tormented mind.

"Brother...father...mother.... All of them, hurt by my actions. Mother even died, because of me....if I hadn't.... I...wouldn't have been there...if I hadn't been there... I wouldn't have told him to go left....mother....." Loki's muttering had grown louder, and as Thor listened, he learned something he had not known. Thor's rage flashed up in an instant, true anger over his brother's actions washed over him and he grabbed Loki up by his collar. Shaking him in one mighty fist he yelled at him. "What do you mean, Brother, 'you wouldn't have told him to go left'!? You told him! It was you!!?" Thor's voice rose with each word, until it might as well have been the roar of a wounded animal, "Mother is dead because of you!!!" His other hand came up and forced Loki's face to look at him, and though his eyes were still like blank stones in their sockets, Thor could see the truth in his gaze.

Without Thor even realising it, his hand wrapped around his brother's throat and began to tighten. It was only Tony shouting in his ear, and his armored arm twisting around his neck, that finally snapped Thor out of it. He dropped Loki as if he was on fire, and took several steps back, his breathing labored as if he had been running. Tony's metal fist punching him in the face also helped him to regain more control over himself.

"Are you insane!?" Tony yelled at the god before him, anger and disappointment mixing in his expression, "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

"He just admitted to being the cause of my Mother's death!!" Thor roared back, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand as he straightened up.

"Did you forget already!?" Tony asked pointedly, "That he was already being piloted by the tall blue guy we just fought not too long ago, remember!? He was under that assholes influence by then, you dimwit! You want to start blaming people for shit, look to yourself first!"

"What do you mean by that!?" Thor yelled, his anger now redirected to Tony, stoked even higher by guilty embarrassment, "I mean if you and your father hadn't failed him so badly, he would have never cracked to begin with! He would have never attacked Jutenhiem and fallen off the bridge! If he had felt properly valued, and loved, by you and Odin, what would he have felt that he needed to prove!? Everything that happened after that can be laid at Odin's feet...and yours!" Tony didn't hold anything back, and had let Thor have it with both barrels, determined to get everything out in the open. He was expecting Thor to charge at him, to roar and even punch him for his accusation, but instead he watched as the blond giant crumpled to the ground.