The sun hits my eyes causing me to wake up. I guess I finally fell asleep. For a split second after waking up I forget that my dad died and I have no one left. I don't even feel sad anymore all I feel is this numb and empty feeling inside me. I've lost so many people it's like I have no emotion. I just lay in bed the whole day forgetting I have school that day. Oh well I wasn't gonna go anyway.
I'm hungry but I don't want to eat, I have to pee but I don't want to get up. I've given up on life. I contemplate whether I should end it now or just let my depression swallow me whole. Either way is bad so does it rlly matter?
I go downstairs into the kitchen and pull out a knife. I stare at the knife for a while then finally make my decision. I position the knife, tighten my grip, and close my eyes.
When I raise the knife to end it im interrupted by a knock at the door. I quickly put the knife away and check who it is. It's Vallyk...
I duck down so he doesn't see me
V: pls Bella I know your in there
I sigh and open the door
B: hey i say with a fake smile
V: Hey how are you?
B: Im fine
V: you don't have to lie to me Bella I heard what happened
Tears rush to my eyes and Vallyk pulls me into a hug. I forgot how good it felt to be in his arms.
He tells me to go upstairs and rest. He then comes into my room with food, runs me a hot bath, then puts on a movie for us. I feel happy for a split second but then my trust issues kick in
B: Your not doing this just to get in my draws..are you?
V: No Im here as a friend plus my mom raised me better than that
B: just your mom.. if you don't mind me asking
V: No not at all.. um your not the only one who lost a parent. I'm not proud of it but my dad was involved with gangs and shit, he didn't rlly have a choice. We moved out here long before he died cuz my mom didn't want me to get into that stuff. A couple years later we got the call...
B: Im so sorry I say resting my hand on his thigh
V: *clears throat* enough sad talk let's finish the movie
As we watch the movie we talk and laugh. His smile gives me butterflies and I can't help but admire him. His soft pink lips, his cute unique dimples, his perfect curls. I think I might be in love... But I can't because I cannot lose another person in my life. I'm afraid of what will happen... of what I'll do to myself...
Vallyk's POV
Bella is so beautiful, and on top of that she has the most lovable personality in the world. I really want to tell her how I feel but I think what she needs right now is a friend. We're watching a movie and everything's going good but she looks lost in thought.. and not a good one
End of POV
V: Bella you good?
B: oh uh yeah I'm good. The movies over and it's getting late maybe you should head home before your mom starts to worry
V: yea your right
We walk downstairs and on the patio
B: thanks for coming Vallyk, and I'm sorry about before
V: np and it's fine don't worry abt it
We hug goodbye and Idk why but I kiss him on the cheek. I see him blush as he walks to his car. He waves before driving away. I wave back and smile
Maybe I do have someone left to live for...
