sad imagines(Mattia)

Bad day

I'm sad so hi I'm back
I have a math exam in a few hours but here we are
TW:mentions of self harm and self harm

I was coming home from a terrible day
I didn't want to do anything my depression was finally winning
I drove home and got into bed
I didn't cry I didn't use my phone I just sat and stared at the ceiling feeling numb
I sat there for another 30 minutes just looking up and then I felt the urge to self harm
I tried to jot do it I really didn't want to plus I was 3 weeks clean and had promised my boyfriend Mattia I wouldn't do it
I grabbed my razor and looked at for a while
I felt a tear come out and it hit the blade I didn't know what to do I hadn't cried in so long it felt weird
Another one came down and that was when I knew I was in pain
I was hurting
I ran the blade through my arms and thighs so much there was blood everywhere and I went into a panic mode
I didn't know what to do
I called Mattia but he didn't answer
I called Kairi but he didn't answer
I eventually just wrapped up my hands and thighs and ran over to Mattias with tears streaming down my face
His house was a 10 minute drive which meant I ran for about 30
I could've used my car but it was raining and gosh I loved nothing more than running in the rain (fun fact it's currently raining)
I felt the drops fall onto me as a few stung on my uncovered parts of my body
I ran so fast until I reached his house
Knocking multiple times with no response
I sat outside for about 2 minutes until he's mom pulled up on the driveway

M/m:sweetheart you're soaked
Y:yeah I ran in the rain
M/m:you have a car sweetie
Y:I just really like the rain

She could hear the pain in your voice but didn't want to bring it up as you may become uncomfortable

M/m:what brings you here honey
Y: I wasn't feeling so good and mattia wasn't answering his phone
M/m:oh honey go take a shower in Mattias room and I'll make you soup and hot cocoa
Y:thank you mama
M/m:oh don't worry sweetheart

You looked at her with tears in your eyes admiring the fact that you finally had a mother figure
You took off your shoes and left them by the door and proceeded to go down to the basement where mattias room was
He's room had always been sound proof since he was a loud kid
You opened the door and your heart yeeted itself to Mars

Mattia:oh shit
Y:mattia

As you said his name his heart shattered because he heard your voice crack and he realized how bad you were feeling at the moment

Y:you're cheating on me
Mattia:baby
Y:no Mattia I'm at home having the worst day of my life trying to reach you because I turned my wrists into the fucking Niagara Falls but make it with blood and you're fucking someone else
Mattia:...
Y:we're done, for good this time

You felt the tears streaming down your face and mattia knew at that moment he messed up bad
He had never seen you cry this bad

You ran upstairs and almost bumped into his mom

M/m:woah woah where are you going
Y:I'm so tired of him mama he keeps on doing the same shit
M/m:MATTIA POLIBIO COME HERE RIGHT NOW
Y:no it's okay I'm on my way out
M/m:but honey I made you your favorite broccoli and chicken soup Please eat and take a shower and I'll take you back home I just want to make sure you're okay