What comes next? -Sequel to college years-lams fanfic

Chapter 9

A/N Thank you so much for 100 reads! I only started this last week so thank you so much! and on the other story 1.3k I can't believe it means so much to me I don't know why y'all read this shit but that you so much!

Trigger Warning- Mentions of self harm and suicide

Alex POV

We get in the car and I start driving. That was a very dramatic dinner. I knew it was a bad idea to see him again. Most of the trip is quiet until I stop at some traffic lights and look and John to see fiddling with a pocket knife. "John What's that?!" I almost yell.

"Alex relax its ju-"

"I though we threw them out?! You said you wouldn't!" I say now more hurt than angry. After his suicide attempt we both threw about the things that the other might use to... hurt themselves.

"What's the big deal about a pocket knife?" Philip asks. Me and John look at each other not knowing if we should tell him yet.

"It's nothing, John just took mine." I say and hold out one hand for it, keeping the other on the wheel. John sighs and puts it in my hand. I put it in my pocket.

"Don't think I won't put my hand in your pocket." He whispers.

"May I remind you Philip is in the car and he doesn't not need to know about this." I whisper back.

"I know you're talking about me. Just tell me, I know when you're lying." I look over and John and he's put his legs on the seat on his head in his hoodie.

"Just tell him." John says.

"Well um, before you were born when Peggy was a couple weeks pregnant, John got a call from his dad and his ex boyfriend. He had a boyfriend before me and he was well abusive and in our first year of collage he raped me so John would break up with me and  well He and John's dad went to jail and so when John got the call his dad and Cha-his ex threatened him heaps and he um....tried to commit-"

"OMG! Are you serious?" Philip cuts in. I slowly nod. "But that's the only time right?" He asks.

"Well.... when he was 16 there was the roof thing" I say and look at John, I can see the tears in his eyes. I reach over and put my hand on his knee.

"Dad why didn't you tell me this?!" Philip asks, his voice cracking.

"I'm s-sorry pip," John sniffles.

"Pa has anything else happened with you or...?" He asks and I sigh.

"Yeah...When John was in hospital one time after his dad... you know that story I uh went to the top of the roof but Laf caught me" I say and I hear Philip start to cry.

I pull into the garage and park the car. "Pip I think we should all just go to bed and we can talk more in the morning." I say and Philip gets out of the car and slams the door. Me and John get out of the car and walk into our room.

John falls face first onto the bed and groans. "You wanna talk?" I ask, sitting next to him.

"Why did you have to bring it up? Couldn't you have just waited until we got home to say something?" He asks.

"I'm sorry I just panicked." I say.  He sits up and puts his head in my lap.

"No, it's not your fault. He's just gonna look at me now and think 'wow it's the human embodiment of depression and anxiety'" He says.

"No he won't, He loves you. He's just processing all this, he found out a lot today and he just needs time to think. Try talking to him tomorrow, school starts again in a week so you have time." I say combing his hair with my figures.