Southern Rhapsody

Chapter 6

"Calvin! Great news!" said Brer Rabbit.

"Jess calmed down?" said Calvin hopefully.

"Oh, no. No no no no no" said Brer Rabbit in a strained tone.

"oh. Then what's the news?" said Calvin.

"De news is, you's gonna be a huge hit. And I just ordered a thousand rolls o' Calvin O'Keeffe toilet paper" said Brer Rabbit.

"And why would you do that?" said Calvin awkwardly.

"Because everybody loves celebrities and everybody uses toilet paper. I myself uses two-ply Judy Garland" said Brer Rabbit.

"That's great, Brer Rabbit, but I need to focus on what happened with Jess" said Calvin.

"I gets it. Ya wants ter try and make it up to her. Let's chat in de Briar Patch" said Brer Rabbit.

"Thanks" said Calvin.

Brer Rabbit led Calvin into his Briar Patch and they sat down at his dining room table (which was really just a big mushroom).

"Talk to me, brer" said Brer Rabbit.

"Well, uh... I don't come from a family that talks about their emotions. My dad's abusive. In fact, most of his communication towards me comes from a punch in the mouth" said Calvin.

"Well, don't try dat wit' Jess" said Brer Rabbit.

"I won't. I just don't know what..." Calvin began.

 He then noticed that Brer Rabbit's camera was on.

"Uh... Brer Rabbit? What are you doing?" said Brer Rabbit.

"Recordin dis. Now pour yo' heart out. And make it rhyme" said Brer Rabbit.

Calvin sighed in defeat and exited the Briar Patch.

Brer Rabbit went back to focusing on the music video. 

He looked at his salary.

"Hmm. I's gonna need a lot mo' den twenty bucks ter sell all dis toilet paper" said Brer Rabbit.

"Brer Rabbit. Would you like to tell us why we have a hundred and twenty dollars worth of toilet paper on our salary?" said Greg.

"Nope" answered Brer Rabbit.

Meanwhile...

"Dis is it. Pretty soon, I'll be usin dat gal. And finally, I'll get me de rabbit. And maybe I'll get de Wiggles too." said Brer Fox.

Gee. Brer Rabbit seems pretty careless about Calvin and Jess.

Will he ever learn?

Peace and love,

Sammy