Deep Thoughts (a miscellany)
January. One of the advantages of being born during the first days of January is knowing exactly how old you were in any given year. One of the disadvantages is getting birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper. It always seemed to me that Mom just held back a couple of Christmas presents for my birthday. Still, I like having a January birthday, because the New Year really is a new year of my life.
Maybe it's because I was born in the winter, but I like it cold. The other person in my household likes it warm, so we compromise. I turn the heat down to 62 overnight, then I get up first in the morning and turn it back up to “toast”, or, as my Dear One calls it, “defrost”.
I'm telling you, I can blow dry my hair simply by standing in front of the heat register.
Exercise. Is this one of your New Year's resolutions? I recently read that 42% of adults age 45 - 64 do not get the recommended minimum of physical activity, which is 20 minutes, three times a week. The 42% who are not getting such a minimal amount of exercise must consist of 99% of the men in that age bracket. Women spend a minimum of 20 minutes, three times a week, cleaning the house. I get a good cardio workout, running through the house with the duster, swishing out toilet bowls, pushing the vacuum and swinging the mop.
Small cars.I've always driven small cars (at one point I realized I was actually driving a Fisher-Price toy). Just recently I came out of the ShopRite to find that the parking space next to my micro-hatchback was occupied by a minivan of exactly the same color and approximately the same profile. “Looks like your van just gave birth,” I said to the driver. This is how I come by my reputation of being a bit wacky.
Why do they call them minivans, anyway? What would a maxivan look like?
Snow. I'm always afraid to admit this in public for fear of being taken out and shot, but I love snow. I even love to drive in the snow. Bring on the snow! My Dear One points out that it may soon be snowing inside the house if I turn the thermostat any lower.
You can easily find Mary Schwester’s house. It’s the one with frost forming on the insides of the windows.
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Confessions of a Full-Figured Gal
HumorA collection of short humorous pieces on subjects such as: the brassiere (Go Figure), songs containing the name Gloria (Gloria!), the relationship between Dr. Pepper and prune juice (Give Us This Day our Daily Fiber), and the ‘fifty shades’ phenomen...
