Leaving it to chance [ Serendipity Series #01 ]

XIII: tampo

Tampo — (n.) the state of not being angry with someone but not being affectionate either.

* Should there be any Bisaya words used throughout the chapter, translations & a Bisaya glossary will be provided at the end of the chapter for your reference.

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My mind liked to work against me, hurting me with scenarios and scenes. It was all in my imagination but damn did they sting. My chest tightened as questions flooded my head, none of which I had solid answers to.

Did they shower together? Did Mikie always have girls over in his condo? Was she the reason why he couldn't pick up his phone? Why are they alone together?

I screamed into my pillow to stop my head from fabricating these thoughts. I didn't cry, though. No. He didn't deserve my tears. Also, I knew if I did cry, I would probably never stop. But hello? Sino ba naman siya para pag-aksayahan ng luha?

I tried to look at the bright side. Maybe this was a sign that we weren't meant to be in the first place, right?

I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling as I let time pass me by. I had no heart to move nor do any of my school work. I was in pain. Well, emotionally at least. Regardless, I was still in pain.

From my nightstand, I could hear my phone buzzing uncontrollably. The screen illuminated with Mikie's name. I didn't have the heart to answer. I just let it vibrate until it eventually stopped. I left him a text message saying I was busy with schoolwork and switched my phone off. He didn't call after that.

A part of me wished he did.

Hay naku, Korine Attina! Ang labo mo. 'Di mo alam kung ano ang gusto mo.

I wanted to say pinaasa niya ako, but the bigger chunk of this pain was me; pinaasa ko sarili ko. Pinaniwala ko puso't isipan ko na may pagkakataon kami, na puwede ko siyang gawing akin. But of course, baka siguro ilusyonada lang ako. Letting my imaginations and hopes run wild.

Make it stop. I wanted it to stop.

I actually dreaded going to the club. If it weren't for Kata, I would have just stayed at home. Apparently, Mikie wasn't going to be able to make it tonight sabi ni Lucas. He had early morning training or something. I didn't know how to feel about it to be honest, totally conflicted. I kind of wanted to see him, but I kind of didn't as well. Make up your mind, Nina. Everyone was there except him.

"Wait so may other girl si Mikie? Nakita mo sa condo niya? He's two-timing you?" Kata gasped, leaning closer against the table as Astrid recounted what went down at Mikie's condo. My cousin looked like she was about to punch someone, her expression shifted from surprised to angry. Thankfully, Lucas and his other friends were at the table across us so they probably didn't hear whatever we were talking about.

"Pinaganda mo pa, Kata. Kabit, kerida, the mistress, ganern!" Genevieve corrected her as she took a shot.

"Pero wait," Josh interjected. "Kayo na ba, Nins? As in officially kayo?"

"Panira ka talaga, John Elias!" Gen shook her head habang sinisipsip ang isang lemon slice. Josh cringed when Gen called him by his full name. We all knew how much he hated it hence he preferred to be called by his nickname. "Even if hindi talaga naging sila officially, he showed interest in her. In a way, he pursued her. It's not Nina's fault if she caught feelings for him. She has every right to be hurt. What if you walked in on a guy at Tom's condo? How would you feel?"

Kumunot ang noo ni Josh at hinampas ang braso ni Genevieve. Muntik mahulog sa bibig ni Gen ang lemon slice sa lakas ng hampas. "Nagtatanong lang! Bakit mas galit ka? May pinaghuhugutan, girl?"