The Ed-Touchables

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[Edd is in his room, using a labeler. He labels a desk lamp "Lamp", a bookshelf "Books", and a desk "Desk." Around the room can be seen other evidence of his labeling, such as a bed labeled "Sack" and a label reading "Door Knob" next to the doorknob.]

Edd: "Four thousand eight hundred and twenty, four thousand eight hundred and twenty-four–ooh, I like what you've done with that tunnel–four thousand eight hundred and thirty-one, four thousand eight hundred and thirty-five, that's everybody. Four thousand eight hundred and–" [He does some calculations on an abacus.] "–thirty-seven."

[He places a label reading "Ants 4,837" on his ant farm. The doorbell then rings. He walks down to get the door. Upon opening it, he finds nobody there. He is halfway up the steps when the doorbell rings again. He goes down to get the door and once again finds nobody there. He tests the doorbell, and then goes upstairs. Once again, he gets halfway up before the doorbell rings again. He rushes down to get it.]

Edd: [annoyed] "Now please–!" [A bucket of water falls on his head.]

[Edd once again starts up the steps only to have the bell ring when he's halfway up. He goes down to get the door, and looks up carefully to make sure there are no unpleasant surprises. Just as he's about to stop looking up, a fish hits him in the face. Edd stands there stunned for a few seconds and then heads up the stairs, an odor now surrounding him. Once again, the doorbell rings when he's halfway up.]

Eddy: "Hey, Double D, what took you so long?"

Edd: "Oh. Hello, Eddy. So, what're you doing?" [remembering the pranks] "Hey. Was that you ringing my doorbell?"

Eddy: "Who, me? Nah."

Edd: [opening the door to his room] "Wait, Eddy. You know the rules." [He holds up a pair of bunny slippers.]

Eddy: "Aw, come on, Edd. Not again." [Edd wiggles the slippers] "All right. Sheesh, stupid slippers."

Edd: "And I'll dispose of these." [He puts the shoes in a box labeled "Shoes."]

Eddy: "Okay. The slippers are on nowwWWHOAAA!" [Edd has taken a vacuum cleaner hose and is busily cleaning Eddy's nose with it.]

Edd: "We'll have you clean in no time, Eddy!" [His head gets sucked in but is shaken out. Edd is finished with his nose.] "Almost done." [He vacuums the back of Eddy's shirt.]

Eddy: "Gee, thanks Edd."

Edd: "After you, Eddy."

Eddy: "Yeah. After me."

[Entering the room, he spots Edd's bed. He goes over and jumps on it.]

Edd: "EDDY!" [remaking the bed] "Messy messy messy messy messy. Please don't do that, Eddy."

[Eddy begins switching labels, switching the "Slipper" label, which he places on the bed, with the "Bed" label.]

Edd: "Eddy! Please return those labels to their rightful designations."

Eddy: "Alright, alright, don't have a bird." [He takes the slipper label off the bed and replaces it with one that says "Toilet".] "Are ya done yet? Let's go get Ed!"

Edd: "Please be patient. I have just one more–" [He puts down a "Magnifying Glass" label and realizes it's missing.] "–HHAH! It's gone." [freaking out] "Eddddyyyy. Someone took my magnifying glass. I feel so violated."

Eddy: "Maybe you misplaced it."

Edd: [shoving Eddy away] "Never! What has become of this world? Is nothing sacred?" [sweeping the contents of his desk into the trash can] "Everything is soiled! Who would do such a thing? Who would violate the sanctity of somebody's room? With their filthy hands!" [clutching at Eddy] "Oh. Oh Eddy. I feel sick. I feel nauseous. I CAN'T BREATHE!"

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