it hurts when i pee

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Hey everyone, i'm back with a new story, this time it's a deltarune fanfiction because i've been thinkin' about it a lot, also, before anyone asks: yes, i do ship kris x ralsei unironically...i mean, they're really cute together! That also means that this may be a bit fluffier and cuter than my other meme stories so yeah, i didn't see a lot of silly meme fanfictions in the deltarune tags so i thought i'd just make my own! So....enjoy!

Also, this was written LONG before deltarune was fully released, so if anyone is reading this in the future, this may not have aged well....so maybe if like, one of the characters gets killed off or it turns out that these two are siblings or something? Yeah, just in case anything like that happens, i'm sorry. Also, what's it like in the future? Do we have flying cars yet?

May 2023 edit: hey y'all, i removed all the other author's notes because there was way too fucking many but just know that this was written a year before deltarune chapter 2 came out, kris is misgendered throughout this entire thing because i used to be one of those dumbasses who think KFC's genders are ""up for interpretation"" (which they are not, IF YOU REFER TO KRIS, FRISK OR CHARA AS ANYTHING OTHER THAN THEY/THEM, FUCK OFF!!) And also my actual IRL cats are in this story and i got one of their breeds wrong; silver is just a normal black cat, not a manx.

One day, upon some time...whenever, daytime, exactly 7:30 pm in the evening because that's usually when it gets dark outside and the author is picturing this story in her head and the sky is kinda deep blue like it's dark out. Anyway, we see a wild kris and ralsei deltarune in their natural habitat: an arby's parking lot because that's the title of the fucking story c'mon it ain't that hard! Also this takes place in the dark world, i think it's important to note that. Anyways, they were sitting on a bench by the door, not exactly the parking lot but if i say they're in the parking lot it sounds funnier

"Ummm...this wasn't what i expected when you said we were going to arby's, how long have we been out here? An hour? We could've just went inside, grabbed some food and then leave!" Ralsei said, looking up to the blue person in confusion. "Lmao the author of this story doesn't actually eat at arbys so she just made us just fuckin' vibe outside" kris explained nonchalantly, idk how to explain the position he was in on the bench at that moment so i'm just gonna draw it

 "Lmao the author of this story doesn't actually eat at arbys so she just made us just fuckin' vibe outside" kris explained nonchalantly, idk how to explain the position he was in on the bench at that moment so i'm just gonna draw it

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"W-what?"

"What?"

Suddenly a gust of wind blew by! "Ah jeez it's cold" ralsei commented as he leaned into kris' arms, "o-oh! Sorry...." oh and also i just wanna mention that they're dating in this, i would've said that at the beginning but it's funnier if i just sprinkle in TMI as the story progresses unannounced. Anyways, kris wrapped he gotdamn arms around the fluffy lil bitch- er i mean PWECIOUS FWUFFY BOI UWU and smiled, "nah its fine" he said. They stayed in this position for about 20 seconds which would've been nice if it weren't for the fact that kris is wearing FUCKING ARMOR like seriously, there's no way that part in the actual game where you are able to hug ralsei feels nice for him but that's beside the point. "Can i sing for youuuu...?" Kris asked fuckboyishly, ralsei blushed and accepted his SO's request; then kris started singing your love by nicki minaj; he sounded exactly like nicki, in fact he wasn't even moving his damn lips, he just opened his mouth and the actual song came out as if there was a radio behind the two playing the song, instrumental and all! It was horrifying. At the end of this disturbing 4 minutes and 7 seconds, kris kissed ralsei RIGHT ON THE FWEAKIN' LIPS (>W<) and of course, this caused ralsei to pin kris on the bench because what's a krisei fanfic on this stupid orange book app without one of them pinning the other to the ground or whatever surface *eyeroll* imagine the nasty concussion they'd get smh

Adventures In An Arby's Parking Lot: A Deltarune Kris X Ralsei Fanfic (Oneshot)Where stories live. Discover now