Loving Danger (Kolena, Klena, Elejah)

two

"You're hoarding the blush over there, Elena." Rebekah teased lightheartedly.

Elena looked down, not realizing she was fiddling with it, completely lost in her thoughts. She knew Rebekah was playing nice because Matt was in the room, and once Caroline got there and took his spot it would become a lot more hostile.

"Sorry," she spoke softly, handing it back to the blonde.

She saw Matt in the reflection of the mirror, he was motioning towards his girlfriend. Part of her heart swelled at his consistent attempts to get them to bond, while another was sad that she didn't have the energy to reciprocate. Something had been missing in her recently and she didn't feel motivated to fake a friendship for Matt's sake. With that half of her, she wished Matt would just stop trying and that she could just stay home and live in her room. Live with her choice.

But she was Elena Gilbert, which meant smiling and letting sugar drip from her sweet teeth. "That pink looks good on you. Do you have any darker eyeshadow?"

She should have been rejoicing that everyone was safe, but she felt as if she'd died that night. No one has treated her the same since then. She felt like she died in that room and a new Elena came out. They were getting ready for a dance that she felt no excitement in attending. Everything she ever fought for felt like a distant memory.

She made eye contact with Matt and gave him a piercing smile. She could do it for Matt's sake. He had done it a hundred times more for her, so for him, she could—at the very least—keep up a happy charade.

"Remember the last dance we went to before everything got so crazy?" Caroline's voice spoke with a well-intended scoff. "You and Matt were so in love, I was so jealous of you and Bonnie was playing buffer."

"Care," Matt sighed giving a side-eye to Rebekah.

"Relax Matt, it's just...."

Elena stopped listening as they went back and forth. Her mind blasted back to those days. Had she ever loved Matt? She got over him so suddenly, how could she have done that if she truly loved him. In that same sense had she loved the Salvatores either? She had loved Stefan but since the night of the dance, her heart had grown tired of both men who once stirred her heart. If she could turn it on and off like a switch was it really love?

Was she capable of love? The night she met Stefan was the same one that she fell in love with. And the night at the Grille when she had rejected both brothers and decided to be alone rather than hurt them, she had a moment with Kol. A couple of months in therapy couldn't explain what happened with Kol or what possessed her to act that way.

She just knew she felt alive and at that moment that's all she wanted.

"Elena! Hello?" Caroline gave an eye roll and tossed up her arms. "Are you even here anymore?"

"Caroline." Matt defended again, clearly playing a very good peace-keeper.

"Whose you're date tonight?" Caroline sat down pointedly showing she was done fighting with Matt for the time being. But the look in her eye told Elena that she was ready to shake some answers out.

In the corner of her eye, she saw Rebekah enter the room and kiss Matt. She hadn't even realized that she left.

"What did I miss?"