Driving Force

chapter 26

Cameron Santiago POV

"You need to talk to Madi," Ashlyn says walking into the kitchen. It's been a few days since we left camp and things have been going well. I haven't talked to anyone on the team except Kelley. Ali and Ash have been updating me on what's going on but most of the time I wave it off telling them I don't want to listen.

"Ash-" I start but get cut off. She takes a seat on the chair next to me and shushes me.

"No, you need to listen. Christen just called me saying, Madi is threatening to go back to New Jersey by herself." Ash says. I start to worry a little bit but don't show it.

"Okay, she told us multiple times she doesn't need or want anybody's help. Just let her go and figure it out herself. Let her see she can't take care of herself." I huff.

"Cameron, you know as much as I do she's just pushing people away as a defense mechanism. You are the only person she'll talk to."

We are interrupted by Logan running into the house with Ali hanging up the leash after walking her. Ali heads over to us, "Oooh what are we talking about?"

"Cameron talk to her." Ash shakes her head ignoring the question and faces me again.

"Why can't Jessie talk to her?"

"She's pushing everyone away and doesn't pick up the phone for anybody. Jessie has tried on several occasions."

"I don't care." I lie.

"Yes, you do. Even you said it yourself, you guys have become like sisters in the time you've known each other. Sisters fight but they are also there when one of them is hurting. And right now Madison is hurting badly both physically and mentally."

All the words that left her mouth are true. I feel so guilty, but I also feel tired of trying to be a nice person to only get shit in return.

Ali finally catches on to the conversation, "She helped you when you were in bad shape. You don't owe her anything, but I know you wouldn't just give up on her. Why don't you want to help her? You never go down without a fight."

Logan comes to my feet and nudges me to pet her, "I'm done fighting. All it does is push people further away."

"You're scared."

I put out my hand, "Ash, stop."

"No, because the real issue is you're scared to fight thinking, in the end, it won't pay off. You are scared to fight for the friendship because there's a risk being close again will hurt you in the end. Well let me tell you something, something may happen to her and I promise if it does you are going to wish you were close." Tears start dripping down my face as I let out the fear I've been holding surface. Everything Ash said is true. It is so true.

"Cam, Madison is probably doing the same exact thing. She's scared of being close to you. Seeing her hurt will affect you and hurt you and you guys need to talk it out. She's pushing you away because she doesn't want to put pressure on you or anybody else." Ali explains while squeezing my shoulder.

I sigh as I know both of them are right. Before I have time to even think about what to do next, Ash's phone starts ringing.

"Christen... I know we are talking about it right now... What do you mean?" I only hear Ash's side of the conversation. "The airport?!"

"Put it on speaker," I whisper and tap her.

"We turned our backs for 10 minutes and she just disappeared. She was searching for flights but I don't know if she booked anything. What if she's on her way there now?" Christen panics.

"Christen," I start speaking. "Check the backyard or around the house. I don't think she's that stupid knowing how good she has it in Portland."

"That's the problem! She won't accept the help every time we offer. She allows us to take her to therapy but that's about it." We are then met by silence and then someone speaking. "Wait Tobin says she sees her walking down the street."

"Where are you going?!" I hear Tobin yell.

"I want to go home!"

"Don't even think about running?!" Tobin yells to Madison I am assuming.

"I thought about it, but can't actually fucking do it so jokes on both of us!" I chuckle slightly at Madison's reply. Classic Mads.

"Madison, Cameron is on the line. She wants to talk." Christen says sounding a little out of breath from running towards the two.

"You're lying. You saw it yourself, she gave up on me. I don't want to talk to anybody." My heart aches as she speaks.

"Madison she didn't give up-"

"No?!" Madi yells, "So why the fuck isn't she here. Why didn't she fight? I'm not worth her time and effort and I get it. I'm a mess and a responsibility. This is why I should just go back home and pretend as if nothing happened."

"You've made a lot of progress in just a few days. You can't just stop now and go home and restart." Tobin replies.

"Madison." I finally speak up hoping Christen put me on speaker. I hear muffled arguing in the background and someone talks back.

"Look Cameron, I'm sorry. I'm so-o fucking sorry-y. I understand why you left, I can't even handle myself. You don't need to feel obligated to talk to me. I know they probably guilted you into it." I absorb her words and shake my head but she can't see.

My voice cracks as I respond, "Madison. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I shouldn't have given up on you. You and I have been through a lot and you've gotten me through the worst part of my life and I couldn't do the same for you. So I am so very sorry."

"Cameron, I miss you." I can hear Madison crying.

"I miss you, buddy. How about I catch the next flight out?"

"I don't want you to leave. Florida seems to be going well for you."

"No. I'm coming to be with you," I say knowing she needs me and my support. 

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final exams and final assignments are around the corner so I figured an update would be a beneficial distraction from the stress of the workload a little bit. Updates and new books sure help me, so if you have any recommendation whether uswnt (I think I read a majority of them) or not just drop them in the comments or message me. 

also, get tested for covid-19 whether you feel sick or not if you have been outside your house because I did and got it for the second time but bless my antibodies from the first time because I didn't even know I got reinfected. 

stay safe homies and i miss you dearly,

~AK