Beyond The Sea Blue Light

I Refuse To Let Your Words Be The Death Of Me

tw of s*icide in this chapter

---

It's the second time I've seen our fate flash before our eyes. Caused by the same person, nonetheless. The first time, I watched Andy bring down the building, killing those twenty innocent people. Now, I've seen him kill his father, sealing our fate forever. The entire world has seen it, has seen the terror firsthand. Maybe what they say is true, history does inevitably repeat itself.

But it's not time to think about it, in fact, I can't think of anything right now, can't formulate an actual sentence from the words flying through my mind. Vic squeezes my hand, comforting me that he's still here. I can tell he's as shocked as I am, as horrified. At least we're together, that's all that matters, really. At least we're together.

I don't want to picture what the world will be after this, don't want to see what this means for us, for our future. He's ruined it, every chance we had of hope, what we've worked toward for so long. Every mission we went on, every task we undertook, we had one rule, we had one goal. Do not, under any circumstances, give them reason to believe we are the enemy. We save ourselves, save each other, show them that we're human. But we never take lives. It is too easy for them to paint us as the bad guys, and now, it has just got a whole lot easier.

All I can do is stare at Andy, who is standing in the center of the room, the gun clutched in his shaking, outstretched hand, fresh blood splattered across his face.

"I did it," he whispers hoarsely. "I—"

"What did you do?" Oli asks, the words a haunting echo of Mr. Styles's. "Andy, what did you do?"

Andy looks at him, his eyes terrifyingly blank. "What I had to," he says softly.

"No," Oli shakes his head. "You've doomed us all," he mutters. "Don't you see? We're never going to be safe."

"You spied on us," Andy accuses. "You're one to talk."

"I did it to save—" he looks at Josh, his voice faltering at the blank stare of the other. "I know it was wrong. But I didn't destroy our future. They're not going to see us as anything but monsters now, don't you see?"
Andy stares at him before he shakes his head. "No," he says. "I just saved us. Now, we can finally be free. The humans can't control us anymore. We can—" His voice drops off as his gaze fixes on something behind us.

"I thought you were dead." Ronnie's voice echoes through the room. He looks more haggard than when I last saw him, as he examines the room, the blood, the bodies, all of it.

Andy stares at Ronnie for what seems like the longest time, both of them regarding the other, not saying a word.

"You're one of them," Ronnie says at last. It's not a question, but Andy nods slowly, suddenly looking abashed.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't I?" Andy sounds incredulous. "Why didn't I tell anyone? Because I knew exactly how you would all react. I mean, you became a guard and worked for him." He shoots another glance at his father.

Ronnie looks taken aback. "I—" his eyes drift over to where I'm standing. Vic's grip tightens around me as he tenses. "You could have trusted me."

"Could I?" Andy asks.

"Before I thought that they killed you," Ronnie mutters. "Contrary to what you think, I actually cared. After you were gone, I blamed them, I thought that—" his gaze flicks over to me again. "I hurt J—people because I thought that's what I was supposed to do. It was wrong, I see that now." His tone shifts, becoming more harsh. "But why didn't you tell me? I thought you loved me. We promised, remember?" His voice cracks. "No more secrets."