Beyond The Sea Blue Light

Leaving All The Dust Behind

I have lost track of time. Everything blurs together. Gray on gray, fluorescent light shining above. Minutes tick by one by one, becoming hours, then possibly days. I'm not sure at this point. Now, even nearly two years later, even after seeing the outside world, the room is still suffocating, as if I never escaped in the first place. What if it was really all a dream and I've been here all along?

I sit at the edge of the bed frame, rocking myself back and forth. I'm not cold, actually quite the opposite. It's stifling in the room. But the movement comforts me. Back and forth. Back and forth. This way I can keep my thoughts at bay, the repetitive motion lulling me into a trance. I dread the moment I have to fall asleep. The moment that darkness slips over my eyelids I know I'll be thrown into the dreams again.

I think back to the first day I spent in the Facility, then every day after that. How I never felt alone, how I felt comforted even in the most dire of times. I give a silent thanks to Vic. In many ways, if I hadn't met him, I wouldn't be alive now.

Vic. I can think about him to keep me from going insane. I know he must be out of his mind with worry by now. I think about everything with him. The first time I met him. Every day we spent together, surrounded by gray walls. Our first kiss and the way he was terrified. The ups and downs trying to find a way to escape. The day when I finally realized I had fallen in love with him. Everything we've gone through together runs through my mind, keeping me sane.

Kellin?

I jolt up at the sound of my name, scanning the room with wide eyes. My heart pounds in my chest as my gaze runs over the plain gray walls. Nothing is different. I listen again, but I can't hear anything.

I'm pretty sure you can hear me.

"What the fuck," I whisper out loud.

Ah, yes. You can. That's great.

"Gerard?" I ask into the empty air.

Try thinking it instead. You don't want the guards to hear.

I nod before I realize that he can't see me. Okay. I think as loud as I can. I try to visualize the words, unsure of how the whole telepathy thing works.

Are you okay? Gerard asks.

I think so, I respond. Just....

Hold on, okay? We're going to be okay. I'll see you in a bit, just wait.

I frown. What do you mean? I ask in my mind, but there's no response.

The night drags on as I pace back and forth. I don't hear anything else from Gerard, even as I try send messages to him. At last, I lie down, trying to get some sleep, but I know it's futile. Every time my eyelids drift shut, I can see figures looming over my bed as I jolt awake, screaming.

I give up eventually, opting to lie under the thin blanket, staring at the ceiling. It's so familiar, hauntingly familiar. How many nights did I spend in here? It went by quicker then, with Vic to keep me company, keep me from going insane. It's comforting to know that Gerard's here, that he's alive. A small spark of hope flames inside of me, the knowledge that I'm not alone giving me an ounce of comfort as I stare at the concrete.

It's probably around dawn when the door finally swings open, startling me from where I'm lying on the bed. I haven't gotten a wink of sleep for the hours and hours that have dragged by. I rise gingerly, staring at the doorway. I can't even hide the disgust in my gaze as I glare at the guards. I look past them into the hallway, but I don't see any sign of Gerard.

"Up," one of them says. I don't bother moving, making them force me to my feet, dragging me out of the room. As soon as the door slams, my whole body relaxes, the nervous tension draining out of me as they take me down the hallway, turning to the next.

The hallways are somewhat familiar, but they look quite different. I examine them as I pass, seeing a fresh layer of paint covering the walls. After the explosion, they must have rebuilt it. As they take me up the back staircase, toward the Study Rooms, my heart hammers in my chest. I try to fight back against them, but I'm pushed forward, into the room of my nightmares.

It looks newer, the lights brighter, the walls an even brighter white than the blinding color they were before. The sight of the room makes me shake, my heart jumping out of my chest. They never counted the explosion as a loss. They were never going to shut down the Facility, even after the damage that we caused. They just rebuilt and restarted. Doubt creeps into my mind as the guards exit the room, leaving me alone. What if we were all wrong? What if I was destined to end up back here? What if we all were? Destined to die alone, far away from the sun, below layers and layers of concrete.

The door creaks open again, making me spin around, tensing. I'm expecting Mr. Styles or some other guard, but instead I see a familiar head of red hair as Gerard is pushed into the room.