Beyond The Sea Blue Light

Doesn't Matter What They Say

Alex finds me curled up outside the door to Vic's room every morning. It's honestly routine now. I know exactly what he's going to say, even in my half awake state. He and Jack have been guarding the room, keeping watch until everyone goes to sleep. That gives me the opportunity to sit outside the door, talking quietly with Vic sometimes, other times, just listening to his breathing.

Alex sighs, kneeling down, shaking my shoulder. "Kells, come on," he mutters. "Again?"

I blink at him, rubbing sleep from my eyes. "What time is it?" I ask. "Six in the morning?"

"Almost," Alex says.

"If you just let me in," I say. "This wouldn't happen." They amped up the security after the mishap last time.

"I'm going to install a lock on your door," Alex warns. "I'll force Oli to keep you inside."

"You're not my mom," I mutter. "Just let me do what I want."

Alex rolls his eyes as he shoves me into my room. "We've been over this," he says.

"When are you going to trust him?" I ask.

Alex shrugs, turning away. "He's hurt you multiple times," he points out.

"It wasn't his choice," I argue. "He's fine now. He saved my life."

"Even if he was brainwashed or controlled, he might still be," Alex says. "Ask him. He agrees with me."

"When will you finally trust him again?"

Alex hesitates, then shrugs. "If Gerard says he's okay, then I will," he relents. "Kellin, I know it's annoying, but we can't risk anything. You know that."

And I do, I really know that. But I know that Vic would never do anything to harm us, not again at least.

---

There's a makeshift bedroom set up in the attic where Vic is staying. Awsten's staying in Craig's old room with Andy, though I can tell Awsten's a bit shy about that. He seems pretty quiet, keeping to himself. Even as Jack and Alex joke around, trying to get him to open up, he merely gives them a small smile before returning to stare at whatever wall or item he is transfixed on.

But it's not like any of us can blame him or judge. We've all been there, the shell-shocked state after trauma. After being trapped for so long, suffocated under rules and control, it's strange to be free again, and be able to do whatever we want. It took Oli a while to get me to open up. Even then, I was terrified that if I misstepped, I'd be punished in some way, beaten or locked away. Still, sometimes fear gets to me, that I'm going to be hurt, even though I know that I'm safe here. But it helps to have someone guide you, so I decide to help Awsten.

I find Awsten on the back porch, where he is standing, staring into the mountains. His hands are clasped behind his back as he stares, unmoving, as if he suddenly turned to stone.

"Hey," I call. Awsten suddenly unfreezes, turning around.

"Hi," he replies, his voice small. "I can go if you—"

"No, it's fine," I give him a small smile. "How are you?"

Awsten tenses up for a moment. "I'm fine," he mumbles.

"Do you like it here?"

He nods, avoiding my gaze.

"You're safe here," I assure him. "I know it might take some time to get used to, but you really are safe here. I was the same way when they broke me out. I was scared that it was all a dream and I'd end up back in that hellhole. But it's not a dream. This is real life and you are really free."

Awsten nods, but I can see a sliver of a smile creeping onto his face. "Thanks," he says, his voice a bit louder now.

"If you need anything, we are here for you," I say. "We can help you with anything you need."

"Thank you," Awsten replies, his face a bit brighter now. "Um, I'll leave you two now?" he says angling his head toward the house before he disappears inside.

"Hey." I turn to see Vic standing there, a few paces away, his hands tucked in his pockets. Immediately, I run toward him, throwing my arms around him.

"Gerard said I'm okay," Vic explains as soon as I stop crushing him. "I'm not sure but—"

"You won't hurt us," I assure him. "I know you won't."

"I hope I won't," Vic sighs.

"Now that you're truly free from them," I say, opting to ignore his doubt. "What shall we do to celebrate?"