Blood Runs Cold - - Okumura Eiji Fanfiction

Chapter 5 (Ren's POV)

Eiji, sat down back on the bed and I sat down next to him. 

He giggled for a second , then his expression darkened again.

Then he explained

"Ren, back in the states , you already know about Ash.  But our story , it seems easy , but, it's so full of complications and so many emotions.                                                                                                            Loosing Ash from my side, I bet he could never understand, that he kept me going as well.  That I feel lost without him.  So many things haunt me.  Not the dangers, as much as the helplessness, the fact that, I couldn't help my friends, to save those younger than I. I met a boy named Skip, he was bright and seemed fearless. He and I got held hostage, when I jumped to save him and Ash, I never imagined that disapearence would cause his death.  Ash's hidden expression , he tried to hide, cut me like a knife.

Then I lost my first kiss to Ash, to give me a message, telling me to be careful and not to let anyone know, to give this message to Shorter, but this guy Arthur was looking for him, so I went on my own and there at that place, I feel I got Ash's only older brother killed, He was shot right in front of me.  I was tied, but if I hadn't gone , he might not have died.

But, I for some reason didn't want to let Ash down , but instead my decision got his brother killed.  I felt sick literally when he died, when they pronounced him dead.

Then soon after that I met shorter, got to know him, traveled with him and Ash, Eibe, and Max from New York to Los Angelas.  We bonded more, He seemed like a older brother type.  He was silly, but serious, he had a warmth that was nice to be around.  But, I watched that warmth and gentleness disappear as thy held me down and injected him with a drug. His gaze went from worried , to a dangerously scared.  He was made ot see me as his enemy.  I was weak, I couldn't stop them.   Then later Ash was forced to kill him, his own best friend, to save me from being killed by Shorter's Hands.  As Ash shot, blood hit my face and tears fell from Shorter's eyes, I felt the heartbeat stop. 

 I regret, so much, about what I couldn't do. But, I don't regret going, I don't regret meeting Ash.

But, all of them , My family, even Ash, have left my side."

Eiji stopped for a moment , with tears falling from his eyes.

"I actually started having nightmares about loosing Ash in New York. Only Sing knew about those though."

Eiji finally comes to a stop.  

I as calmly as possible watch him, as he cries.

The fact that Eiji had been through all that and who knows everything else.

I am clear about one thing.

He could never regret going, because, Eiji, had obviously not only grew up while over there, but

I look at Eiji, with slight sadness

"Did you fall in love with Ash, Eiji?"

As I say this. Eiji's eyes slowly go wide as he looks up at me.  As if I sent him into shock, his tears even stopped abruptly , then after a second, the tears reamerged.                                                                  Even my eyes have gone wide now.

What did I just say!?!

Eiji looked down, his eyes still wide , with tears clashing down his face.

"Ah, huh, was I in love with Ash?"

Eiji asks himself. Then looked back up to me.

"Ren, Could you hold me?"

As Eiji says this with a complete serious face .

My eyes were wide. I want to, I've been wanting to , but...

"What?"

Is all that comes out in confusion.

As if shocked at what he just asked me .

"Ha, ha,ha, just kidding , sorry, Ren."

Eiji, tries to laugh it off...

I should stop here, but I can't

I grab Eiji  by the shoulders .

"Where did are you in love with Ash, to , asking me to hold you go hand in hand, huh?"

I ask slightly shaking him.

Eiji looks down.

"Because, even if Ash is alive, even if I have these feelings for him .  I'm going to continue to change and I will be killing those responsible for my families deaths.  I'm Sorry , but I need to block these feelings, Ren."

My eyes feel shrouded as I listen to him,

'He's right, all of those will come to pass, and honestly after hearing everything about this Ash Fellow , there is no way that boy is dead.  That guy, Ash probly was in love as well, but never knew either, but out of love,he let him go multiple times, to protect Eiji's innocence.

But that's shattered. That's also the only Eiji I know. But he show's growth at times.

Also I also have started to like Eiji , he's dense, but aware , he's actually a fast learner, but I feel a sense of he's holding back .  After hearing everything , I know how to fuel that part now, but I don't respect him as just a boss, or a friend , I see someone I really like. 

"Eiji , were you really joking ?"

I gently ask with pure eyes .  Looking at him as he looks back at me.

"Are you mad at me?"

Eiji's question throws me off...

Was I mad at him, huh?  Disappointment, maybe for the reason, but, being asked, will you hold me , by  the guy you like is definetly not anger worthy.

"No, I'm not mad, but Eiji, you're a virgin , are you even scared?"

I ask and watch Eiji's face go so red...

"Shut up , everybody has their firsts sometime!  I can't be a virgin forever, I'm not some saint."

Eiji shouts at me , totally pouting .

I start laughing, then stop.

"Then , Eiji, do you know what it means if you let me hold you?  I'm not a one night stand type of person. Could you let yourself be with me?  I actually like you Eiji, so while I'm not mad, I am happy to touch you and to have a relationship. Do you understand?"

I ask Eiji sternly , staring at him, calmly waiting for a answer.

Eiji's face was kinda blank now, stuck in thought.

This actually scares me .

I just confessed didn't I?