Blood Runs Cold - - Okumura Eiji Fanfiction

Chapter 4 (Eiji's POV)

I know it's a nightmare, but I just can't wake up.

As I am sent back to the time Shorter was drugged, as I watched his friendly eyes completely turn cold and unable to reconize me as I have my head slammed in front of him, seeing him start screaming in pain.  I , so many emotions surged through me, Tears left my eyes . I couldn't do anything again.

Then my mind is thrown back to when Skipper and I were thrown in the car and taken away.  Then my jumping over the wall, seeing, though it was to go get help. I, as the adult , just abandoned a little kid and Ash with dangerous  people .

I was 19 , Ash 17 , and Skipper, shoot, I didn't even know that boy's age,  I feel so useless.

Why am I so pathetic ?

Then i'm thrown to Ash crying, talking about his past and I tried to promise forever. 
Forever? What a joke, a measly gunshot wound and I was boarding a plane and leaving with just a letter left behind for him, HaHa , just like his brother!

I finally force myself awake and I fly sitting up, I'm all sweaty and I have tears going down my face.  Unlike moments of when I shot or got stripped and almost done with Yut-Lung, or when I went to Jail or had a gun held to my head, my most regretful moments that haunt me are the one's when I couldn't do anything.

There are so many regrets!

Then next thing I know , Ren has his arms around me, rubbing my back and telling me that it is alright...

My eyes become wide and I shove him away!

"Nothing's Alright!  Don't say something you don't understand!"

I shout at him and know i'm making a scary face, as I watch his face look completely shocked.

It takes me a moment to realize , Ren looked hurt and confused. I quickly feel like an ass...

"I'm sorry , Ren, I was to emotional."

I say looking at him sincerely.

His eyes calm,

"Eiji, I think it's time you talked to one of us about those nightmares or what happened back in the states."

Ren says slowly and calmly as if scared to hurt me again.

Compared to talking about how I feel about my families deaths , talking about Ash and that year in the states seemed easy, do you know why ? Because I earnestly believe Ash is still alive. That because of that , maybe it's okay if I open up to Ren, atleast.