Love Is A Game

Chapter 9

Fight

Days had passed and of course, we can't stay on El Nido forever, we leave that province who witnessed how we confess our feelings for each other.

I sighed when I remember how my girlfriend made me cry. She told me her illness but I already know about it. I'm always visiting the library to read books about the symptoms i saw in her.

Her unexplainable weight loss, some bruises I saw in her hands, her hair loss that even by touching it, it will fall some of it. Every symptoms i've observe in her is the reason why I study hard and to find what illness it is.

Then I read the book about leukemia, a cancer in blood. I read every types of it, even the anemia and one illness stand out among the others. The symptoms that i've observe on Roxanne almost completed the symptoms in that book. What illness I've found out?

A type of leukemia who's rare for teenagers like us. The chronic myelogenous leukemia. A leukemia that is silent at first, but the symptoms will be visible when the illness is hard to cure.

Some of the people who suffered that kind of illness healed, but not all of them last long their lives. Some of them die early too.

I hate it. I hate this feeling while i'm outside of the room where Roxanne is taking her check up while i'm just a motherfucker who's waiting for her to return.

I want to talk to her doctor about her illness. I want to ask every questions that will pop out in my mind. I want to make sure that Roxanne's illness is curable. I want to make sure that Roxanne's life will go back what it used to be when her illness was gone. I want to make sure that i can take her to the church where our wedding will be taken.

I stood up when i saw Roxanne exited the room while holding a piece of brown envelope where the results are printed.

She sweetly smiled to me and wrapped her arms against mine. "How's the test?" i ask while observing her facial expressions.

She turned her gaze to me while we're walking to go back in our school. Where all of it started.

"My illness spread slower than before. I don't know why but it makes me happy and positive." she answered while restimg her head on my shoulder.

I sighed and hold her hands who's wrapping in my arms. Inalis ko yun at hinapit ang bewang nya habang nasa balikat ko pa rin ang ulo nya.

"Gagaling kaya ako?" mahinang tanong nya. Bumuntong hininga ako at pumikit ng mariin.

"What kind of question is that, baby? Of course you'll be healed." sagot ko pero bumuntong hininga lang sya at nilagay din ang braso nya sa bewang ko.

"I want to live longer, baby. I want to reach my dreams and be your wife. I want to watch our children who's happily playing together." napakuyom ang kamao ko ng marinig ang mga sinasabi nya. Me too, baby. I want to build our big family with you.

"You'll live longer, baby. I promised. We will get rid of that illness of yours and live happily." sagot ko at lalong hinigpitan ang pagkakahawak sa bewang nya.

Hearing her voice while saying those kind of questions broke my heart into pieces. I want to tell her how fucking miserable i am when i'm having a nightmare that she will leave me soon. I want to tell her how her weakness makes me weaker. I want to tell her how vulnerable i am when she's not attending her class because of her illness. How that fucking illness of her makes her suffer more.

Nalaman ko ring si Mina at Yumi ang mga kasama ni Roxanne sa dorm nya. They freaking know about Roxanne's sickness. They fucking know about it but they never told it to me. But how could i even know if i'm not asking them? I don't even know that they are my girlfriend's dormmates.