Bright lights surround me, it looks like the place where I last talked to Gus, in my dream that wasn't really a dream.
"Hazel Grace, we meet again." I hear him say.
I turn and see Gus standing there wearing what he was wearing last time I saw him. He has his metaphorical cigarette in his mouth and a smile on his face.
"Gus." I say before running over to him, embracing his tall muscular frame. He hugs me back.
"Hey Hazel." He says.
"Am I- Am I dead?" I ask as I pull back, tears filling my eyes.
"No, I wanted to speak to you again. You're very much alive." He says. I just nod.
"Why did you want to speak to me?" I ask, curious.
"Well, first of all I wanted to say how much I love you, then I wanted to say that I love our children and you're a great mum, then I wanted to say how much I love Isaac and the rest of them. I miss you all, dearly. Then I wanted to tell you that I'm not angry or upset that you and Isaac are dating. I know you feel like I am, but I'm not. Last time I saw you I told you I wanted you both to move on and be happy, or as happy as you can be. You two mean the world to me and I am so happy that you're dating. I want you to have a life Hazel Grace. I want you both to have a life. I want our children to have a father figure in their lives and Isaac can be that because I know he is a great man and I know he's going to do a good job at it. I don't care if you get married or have more children with Isaac. I know Isaac wants at least one kid of his own, but I also know that he doesn't care whether he gets that or not if he has you and the twins. Sure, I'm going to be a little upset that it wasn't me who could marry you and have a family with you, I cried when I watched our little boy and girl say their first word and take their first step, because I knew I wasn't there to teach them or to be with them, but I knew they would always have you and Isaac with them, to help them, to congratulate them, to be their family. Hazel Grace, I want you to be happy, and I know you aren't going to be completely happy without me there, but I do know Isaac makes you happy, because he is one of the only things that is a connection to me. So please, be happy, have a life, have a wonderful life, because you deserve it, Hazel. You deserve it more than anyone on this planet, other than our children and Isaac because they deserve it too." He says and I am full on crying by the end of his amazing speech.
"But what about when I die? What will we do then? I'm never going to stop loving you Augustus. Ever." I tell him.
"I know. I'm never going to stop loving you either. But you being at least somewhat happy is what is making me happy and will continue to make me happy. When you die, I will be ready and waiting for you. I don't want you to die until you're old and wrinkly, but you can become sixteen again, when you die you can pick what age you want to be for the rest of infinity. You can be young again, and that will be our chance to watch over everyone we love and to have a life of our own, forever, then it really will be for infinity. We can have kids, get married, and do whatever we want. We can start over. But until that day, I will be here, waiting, loving and protecting you, Isaac and our children. I will make sure you never forget about me. I will make sure that if someone hurts any of you I will harm whoever does, but only partially, not too much, because I'm not allowed to go as far as killing people. I will protect you with every bit of me. I promise. Now you have to promise me that you will try and be happy, you have to promise me that you will have a life with Isaac." He says.
"Okay." I say.
"Okay." He says back, smiling. I smile too.
"I love you, Augustus, I always will love you." I tell him.
"I love you too, Hazel Grace, I always will." He says.
"Will I ever see you again? Before I die?" I ask.
"Maybe." He says, that's the last thing I hear before I wake up, back in my bedroom.
I start sobbing, thinking about everything he said, everything that has happened. Everything.
"Hazel, you all right?" I hear my dad ask as he walks over to me and sits on the edge of my bed so he is facing me.
I just shake my bed and he embraces me, whispering soothing words in my ear, combing his fingers through my hair, which is now just below my shoulders.
"It's going to be okay, Hazel. Everything is going to be okay." He says.
I just continue to cry.
YOU ARE READING
Tfios fan fiction
RomanceIt has been four weeks. Four weeks since Augustus and I had lost our virginities to each other in Amsterdam. He is in the hospital, dying, and I can't do anything to stop it. I love him so much and he's dying. He's leaving me. I always thought that...
