Back to you

Anonymous

I'm sitting on the roof with a jack and coke in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

I've now been nameless for three months. I got my stitches removed, but the memory will remain. The scars a permanent reminder of what I don't remember being capable of handling.

I loose motivation more and more as the days go by. I feel hopeless. I've thought about just... starting over... but I can't. Every part of my being aches to find the girl from the photo and something tells me she wants that too.

The sun begins to rise, peaking over the trees in the distance, the glow illuminating the dark. The sky an array of pink, orange, yellow and blue. It's breathtaking really. If only I could climb into the sunrise and put my mind at ease.

I haven't slept in three days. Most of that time awake I've spent sat on this roof drinking and smoking away my loneliness. It can't be good for me, but I suppose at this point I don't really give two fucks. I don't even give one fuck. There are literally no fucks given as I start waste away yet another day.

My behavior as of late seems to be pissing off the homeowners, but I can't bring myself to do anything about it. It's a goddamn miracle I even got out of bed today.... yesterday.... same thing.

"Crazy Bitch!" Uh oh. Here comes thing one.

"G! C'mon get down. You've been up there for hours." and she brought thing two with her. Shoulda called it.

"Fuck off." I shouted back lazily.

"Dont make me come up there!" Ooohhh thing one's gettin feisty.

"Come and get me!" I laughed.

I glanced down to see her attempting to climb the banister and then the side of the house cursing under her breath. It took her a good 15 minutes. She was panting and had sweat dripping down her neck. "How-" she started.

I pointed to the window of the guest room that lead right onto the roof.

"Mother of God." She stated angrily.

"I know I don't remember my name, but I don't think it's Mary." I smirked.

She smacked me upside the head. "What are you doing?!"

"Watching the sunrise, duh. What does it look like I'm doing?"

She just shook her head. "Atleast come eat breakfast with me and Car. You can't live off of Jack Daniels and tobacco." She reasoned.

"Says who?"

"Me. Now come eat."

"Fine." I grumbled.

"Quit being so grumpy. I'm just trying to help."

"The only way you can help me is by bring back my memory or atleast my fucking name." I snapped.

"You're right, look, I can't possibly understand what you're going through right now, but wallowing away in self pity ain't gonna help ya either."

We crawled through window and made our way downstairs into the kitchen. My senses were assaulted by the overwhelming scent of food wafting through the area.

"Holy shit this is good." I moaned as I ate. Cinnomen pancakes, bacon, eggs with cheese, and blueberry muffins. "Did you make this?" I asked Carter as I stuffed my face.

"From scratch."

I continued my praise and he bowed his head in modesty.

. . .

It's the last week before school starts back, so Sadie decided she wanted to go into the city, forcing me and Carter to come along with her. We've been shopping for not even an hour and I already want to leave. I keep getting looks from people and it's making me uncomfortable. A tug on my shirt brings me out of my thoughts.

"Excuse m-me?" I look down to see a little girl around eight or nine.

"May I help you?"

"Are you Demi Lovato?" She tilts her in wonder.

"Uhm no?" It comes out as more of a question then an answer. The name rings a bell, but I can't put my finger on it.

"Ok. Sorry to bother you. Have a nice day." She smiles and skips away.

What just happened?

. . .

As I lay in bed later that night, I re read the words written on the back of the photo. A promise of unconditional love left unsigned. If I had one wish it would be to remember because right now, to me, she's anonymous.... and so am I.