Her Mistake

∆ FORTY FOUR ∆

"She was bleeding so bad. Thankfully, you got her here early enough. We were able to stop the bleeding and save her and the baby. All she needs is to rest, take her drugs and she'll be fine. She also needs to register for antenatal as soon as possible because her pregnancy is going to be a high risked one as a result of the failed abortion." Those were the words I heard the doctor say to Mrs Alonge  while I  pretended to be asleep.

My pain and near death experience were in vain. I was still very much pregnant and it was confirmed by a medical practitioner. I could have died and the thought of it scared me. I wanted and still want the baby out but I didn't want to lose my life.

I couldn't forget the look of disdain the old nurse gave me as she watched me take my drugs. Mrs Alonge didn't stop speaking about how I've failed the whole school, my family and Nigeria. In her words, "You are a disgrace to womanhood."

It wasn't easy to ignore her but I did. I began to cry when she mentioned that the school had sent for my parents. Ever since then I couldn't stop crying. I was surely going to die today.

"Please don't tell anyone I gave you the abortion mixture." Seun begged, her face was pale and fear was evident on her. 

I responded with a feeble nod. I couldn't sleep or rest as the doctor had directed.  All I did was think. Think about how my life was going to change. How my parents were going to kill me and think of the devil that had refused to vacate my belly.

Sniffing, I shifted weakly in the sick bay bed. The school nurse was inept. The last time I was here, she told me I was reacting to something I ate when in actual fact I was reacting to Daniel's sperm. Stupid nurse. I hissed.

"Thanks." Seun said and left.

"How do you feel now?" Anna asked rubbing my legs. I found it comforting. She was sitting on the far end of the bed where my legs were.

"Failure." I whispered just enough for them to hear me. "I feel like a failure."

Never in my life would I forget the stares everyone at school gave me as I slowly walked into the school with Mrs Alonge. There were whispers and stares. I was going to be the talk of the school. A tear rolled down my cheek. Rumors had spread through school and everyone stared as they walked out the school gate .

As soon as I was taken to the sick bay, the guidance councillor joined me. Mr Emeka tried convincing me to tell him who was responsible for the pregnancy especially if he was a student of our school. I had made up my mind to keep mute until he promised to convince the disciplinary committee not to involve my parents and not be brutal with my punishment.

Zara took my hand beside me. She was seated on the only chair in the room. With her thumbs she wiped away my tears and said, "you're not a failure Tobi. Never will you be one."

I ignored her. It was easy for her to say.

"I warned you about this." A tear rolled down Anna's cheek.

"Tobi, I begged you not to do this. We could have told your parents or any adult." Zara's voice cracked. "But it's all going to be fine." It didn't sound reassuring, I could hear the hopelessness in her voice.

For the first time since I got on the sickbay bed, I looked away from the celling to Zara's eyes. The uncertainty was obvious and even though she squeezed my hands as a form of strength I didn't believe her. Instead, I sobbed.

Zara hurried to hug me. "The whole school knows." I said sobbing into her chest; her embrace tighten as she patted my back.

"Look on the bright side, the school isn't calling your parents anymore." Anna put my legs on her laps and played with my toes.