Hate

twenty-nine

A few months of therapy and I was finally starting to see things look up. It was hard and took a long time for me to let them in and actually help me. I still struggled but it's expected. Nothing happens over night. Nothing gets cured by talking to someone for a few days. It takes time and that's okay.

"Whatcha doing there?" I close my journal, looking up at the brunette beside me. He wasn't a fan of his blonde hair anymore and when back to a light brown. I personally preferred the blonde it was very.... sexy?

"Um just writing." He nods, placing a kiss on my cheek.

"I'm making sandwiches do you want one?" He asks, his eyes roaming my face.

"No i'm okay. Im not hungry." The look changes to one of concern, causing me to roll my eyes.

"I already ate I'm not going back to my old ways okay? Calm down you worry wort." I giggle, picking up my pencil again. A small smile reaches his face as he shakes his head.

"I'll never not worry about you. I'm head over heals for you and you know it." He teases, leaving the room. I smile, going back to my work. The therapist always said it would be best to write my thoughts down in a journal.

I only wrote a few words down when my phone buzzed, gaining my attention. I pick it up, smiling at my lock screen of Jack and I. I unlock my phone and go to my Instagram, clicking on the notification. Someone had replied to my story. I tap it, my smile instantly falling.

maybe you shouldn't wear tank tops it shows your fat more lmao fatass.

I let out a shaky breath before turning back to my notebook. I look at the paper before turning the page, scribbling more words down.

"Hey Daniel wanted to go to the beach and I figured I'd ask if you wanted to come with us?" I close my book, letting out a small breathe before plastering on a smile and turning to him.

"Yea I'd love to. Let me get changed." He smiles and nods.

"Perfect. I'll be waiting for you in the bedroom." He says, biting his lip before leaving once more. I let my smile fall as I look back at the book, the words echoing in my head.

I stand up and go to leave the office I've come aquatinted too, when my eyes catch my reflection in the mirror. My eyes travel down my body, my hand resting on my tummy. I slowly lift my shirt, looking at my stomach. Did I gain too much weight when I tried to get healthier?

I shake my head, putting my shirt down before leaving the room. I couldn't go through this again. I couldn't. I leave the room only to bump into someone. I look up, seeing Jack, the boy looking at me, clearly upset.

"Y-you saw didn't you?" I ask quietly. He nods, looking down before looking at me again.

"C'mere." He says quietly, opening his arms. I warp my arms around him, pressing myself to his body. His arms wrap around me, the boy placing a kiss on my head.

"I know it's hard bubba. I know it still affects you. You are the most beautiful person I've ever seen in the entire world. You're my baby." He says quietly, holding me tightly.

"I love you. Please never leave me." I mumble, feeling his grip tightening.

"I'll never leave you. I love you so much bubba." He says softly, pulling away.

"Now let's go swim yea?"

It didn't take long before we changed and made our way to the beach. It was surprisingly empty and calm today- not a lot of people out. I watched as the boys played in the water, laughing when a wave knocked Daniel over.

I chuckle, shaking my head before looking around the beach. My eyes land on the rock and I could feel my self tense. I haven't been there in months, and I missed it. I get up from my spot in the sand, walking over to the large rock. I climb up it, my eyes rolling over the top. I climb the last bit before sitting down and looking out at the water.

So much has happened here. I look at the left corner of the rock in front of me, rubbing my arm as I remembered the way my body fell off and landed in the water. I shake my head before looking over at the front of the rock, closest to the ocean, a small smile coming to my face when I remember Jack jumping off in all of his glory that one night.

"Hey." I look over at Jack as he sits beside me, looking out towards the water.

"Hi."

"You okay?" He asks, glancing at me. I nod, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"I remember coming here all sad and upset." I say quietly. He looks at me, but doesn't say anything.

"And then you found me and comforted me." He smiles small, but still doesn't say anything as I start to play with a string hanging of his swim trunks.

"You refused to leave me and when I insisted on staying you wanted to skinny dip. I thought you were the stupidest person ever to want to jump into an ocean naked." I giggle, causing his smile to widen. I leaned more against him, practically laying against his chest as I moved to sit between his legs.

"You convinced me to jump in and then... then we kissed. It started to rain and we ran back to your car naked and...." I trail off, looking at the water.

"And we made love for the first time." He finishes, smiling at me. I glance up at him, smiling. His eyes flicker to my lips before he slowly leans down a little more, kissing me softly.

It was a sad and dark road... but it led me to the love of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way.

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and.......

don't hate me but this is the end of hate <3 this book has been one of my favorites yet hardest to write. I've cried many times writing this and I thought as I was writing this most recent chapter that this was the best way to end it.  It's been amazing and I can't wait to start another book!!

btw this is what I kinda pictured as the rock they always went too! similar to this but more in the water I'd this makes sense? and a lil more flat on top haha

I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did. thank you!!