Trust (Levi x reader)

Chapter 21

You were in your room, finishing up the last pieces of work and studies. You took Hanji and helped fill the wagons with everything. You cleaned up your room and then sat on the floor. You stared at the wall. The thought of seeing people being eaten by those terrifying titans again was really getting to you. You've only been on one expedition before this one, and it almost resulted in your death. This time the new recruits will also be coming along. You just wanted every single person to survive and make it back, but that was literally impossible no matter how much you wanted it to happen. You could only save people that were injured, since titans like to eat people whole. The thought sent chills down your spine. You thought about Levi, Erwin, Hanji, Mike; do they ever get used to it? They've probably seen so much.... You went to the mess hall for dinner. 

It was actually louder than usual, since it would be many of the cadets' first time seeing titans. Little do they know how unpleasant it is. You saw the squad leaders and Erwin at a table, while he told everyone a few more details and overview for tomorrow. You were lost in thought, and it was hard to pay attention to what Erwin had to say. You didn't even touch your food, you wanted to puke. Then, Mike shook your body by your shoulder.

"Y/n, y/n, Erwin's talking to you"

You looked up at Mike, then Erwin. Everyone at the table was looking at you in concern.

"Oh, sorry Erwin, I'm listening"

Erwin gave a small smile, and spoke.

"y/n, your stress is completely appropriate, your first expedition was a disaster, but you stayed strong during all of it. The new recruits will be in a lot of trouble if they are reckless, so hopefully you could give them a second chance at being a soldier"

You smiled at Erwin's comforting words.

"Thank you Erwin, if only there was a way where every single person could return..."

Everyone stared down, and was lost in thought. Nights before missions aren't the brightest. Everyone's fate is uncertain, and they sleep knowing they've devoted their lives for humanity. Mike spoke.

"Everything comes with a sacrifice, whether we like it or not"

You patted Mike's shoulder as a way of comforting him. While the new cadets were excited, all the superiors at the table knew the reality of leaving the walls. It was time to go to sleep, so everyone headed to their rooms. You laid in bed, but couldn't sleep. You got up and went to the roof. You stood and stared at the moon. 

It was uncertain if you would even return tomorrow, it was a depressing thought but it was the cruel truth. You knew Levi was the strongest person here, but still. You didn't want him anywhere where he could be hurt. You want to protect him from the cruel world, and give him the happiness he deserves. You let out a sigh. Someone was behind you, you could sense it. You turned around and there was Levi standing a few feet in front of you. His hair was messy and he was in his sleeping clothes. He probably couldn't sleep either. He walked up to you, and just stared into your eyes. He moved a strand of hair from your face, and tucked it behind your ear. You spoke.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"no"

"Why"

"Because I was looking for you"

"Levi"

"Shh I just want you close to me, tomorrow's events are uncertain. If i could, I would make you stay here"

"Levi you know that's impossible, and I would never choose to do that"

"I know, you're a brave one"

You looked into his eyes. You could clearly see, they were filled with worry, and sadness. You cupped his face with your hands.

"Levi, we will be fine. We swore to give our hearts for humanity, and we will. You know we can't let emotions get in the way of this. You and I can protect ourselves, you know that. Now get some sleep so we can give our best tomorrow, and protect our cadets."

"Only if you're beside me"

"You know we can't sleep in each other's rooms, it's not allowed"

"y/n, I could care less. I want to fall asleep with you beside me and that's that, plus you've slept in my room plenty of times before."

His eyes were sparkling, and sad. He was practically begging. You smiled, and pulled him into a hug. It felt real and pure. You stood there with your hands wrapped around Levi, and he rested his head on your shoulders, and arms wrapped around your waist. You stood there in the hug, until he swept you off the floor, and took you to his room. You wrapped your arms around his neck, as he carried you. 

He put you down, and you got comfortable on his bed. He lay beside you, and put his arms around your waist to pull you closer. You faced him, and dug your face into his chest. He kissed the top of your head, and ran his fingers through your hair. You felt safe, and you trusted Levi with your whole heart and life. He trusted you as well. He was asleep, so you whispered. "Sleep tight Levi".

Blood. Blood everywhere. Bodies scattered across the grass. You screamed, yelled and pleaded; maybe someone was alive. A titan, 15-metre class, held Levi in it's hand. You saw Levi get devoured by the titan right in front of your eyes. His blood splattered all over you. You let out a scream.

"y/n, y/n, Y/N!!"

You jolted up and had tears streaming down your face, while breathing heavily. You turned and saw Levi sitting up beside you with a worried face. You touched his face, and he was okay. It was just a nightmare. He wiped the tears from your cheek with his thumb.

"It's okay, I'm here shh"

"Levi, I saw you, your blood splattered on my face, the titan-"

You started crying harder with your hands on your face.

"Shhh I'm right here in front of you. It was a nightmare, calm down"

Levi grabbed water from his side table and gave it to you. You drank some, and then Levi embraced you in a hug. He rubbed the back of your head, as you dug your face in his shoulder. He was here, and safe. You promised yourself you'd protect him no matter what. After some quiet sobbing, you laid back down, and so did Levi. You faced each other, and Levi gave you a smile. His smile could cure the world, it brought you so much peace and happiness. You wanted to see him like that always. He spoke in a sleepy voice.

"Remember you helped me with my nightmares?"

"I did?"

"Ever since that day you came in my room to comfort me, I never had a nightmare again. I don't know why, but something about you makes me feel like I have someone to come home to"

"You do Levi, you do."

He kissed your forehead and hugged you tightly. He was falling asleep, but he mumbled something quietly.

"I love you"

Your heart stopped for a second, and you easily said it back,

"I love you too Levi"

He was already asleep, but you hoped he heard it. He smiled. Yup, he heard it.