My First Love ✅

12: Holding his hands while my heart beats for someone else

(Summer before senior year)

Lee Yuna

Months have passed and I decided to give him a chance because I want to see if loving someone can be learned as time passes by and if there will be anyone who can replace Hyunsuk in my heart.

Well, maybe Mashiho isn't that bad after all, he's nice and he does nice things for me which I am not really used to.

I'm used to being the one to give efforts but now that I'm the one being pampered and treated nicely it feels unusual and it's a new feeling so, I think giving Mashiho a chance isn't a bad decision after all.

Liking Choi Hyunsuk, I was always the one to make efforts just to show him that I'm here and that someone likes him. I was always the one striving hard for him but now I realized, I have never experienced being the one to receive efforts.

And now that I'm experiencing it, I realized that it feels nice to be someone's priority in their life, not just being a supporting role in someone else's life.

Being in a relationship with Mashiho, of course, I usually hang out with them which includes his best friend, Hyunsuk and as time passes by, I try hard to suppress my feelings for him because I know it's unfair for Mashiho that I'm dating him but I have these hidden feelings for his best friend.

But it's really hard to get rid of your feelings for someone if he already has a special place in your heart.

I know this is very wrong because I think this is just a plain misunderstanding and not a mutual understanding. For me, Mashiho is just a nice friend but I know for myself that I can never give back the love that he's giving me but for him, he sees me as his girlfriend which is really unfair for him.

But I still choose to hold on, because I still have hope that maybe one day, I'll be able to learn how to love him back.

~~~~~

"Hop on" Mashiho smiled at me and handed me a helmet.

I was walking on my way to watch the summer soccer match at our school when Mashiho spotted me, walking alone. He was also on his way to the soccer match but this time, he wouldn't be playing for the team, he's just there to watch his best friend.

Though I was hesitant, I rode at the passenger seat of his motorbike, I wore the helmet that he gave me to protect myself from falling *falling for the wrong person* and I held onto his waist *just like how I hold on to the hope that some day I can learn to love him back*

My heart fluttered at our first close contact and I liked the feeling of someone giving me special treatment but as I said, I liked THE FEELING, I'm still not sure if I like the person.

While we were watching at the bleachers with other students and other teachers, Mr. Yang whistled for a time out for our school's team.

Hyunsuk ran towards our seat, with his eyes furrowed and he looked really tired for carrying the whole team without any help because his best partner was sitting on the bleachers with me.

"Do you guys have any water?"

I was worried because his breath was hoarse and he was losing too much fluids so I handed him the bottle of cold water that Mashiho gave me just a few minutes before the time out.

He drank some of it and showered the remaining on his head to cool his temperature down *which looked so hot*

A few seconds before the time-out ends, Mr. Yang ran towards him "Hyunsuk, execute plan B" he said, trying to revive our losing team.