𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐄 ✔︎ ━ 𝖬𝖠𝖫𝖥𝖮𝖸

⚓︎ 𝙏𝙧𝙪𝙚 𝘾𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧𝙨 ⚓︎

We sat there for a few, long minutes, unsure of what to say to one another. There's so many things I wanted to say to him, but I wasn't sure if they were the right words.

He look distraught, sitting there, rubbing his forehead while wearing an expression of grief— perhaps? I had never seen him this way before, and it was quite frightening to see.

"Draco," I said quietly, so quietly I almost didn't even say anything. But, he turned toward me. His eyes had turned a steel grey color, perhaps that's what they look like when he's saddened.

"It's a relief to know you don't hate me, sincerely. I don't have you either." I said with ease and reassurance, trying my best to comfort him with his words. He nodded and offered a smile, which only lasted for a few moments before he went back to his sad state.

"Why do you think my mother didn't say hi to me? Or even let me notice her presence?" He asked, an immense amount of pain flooding through his words. I searched my brain for an answer, and decided to use words my mother once told me.

"Sometimes with distance comes fear. Maybe she's afraid to see you, because she's afraid of what she's become. Maybe she doesn't want you to see the sadness in her eyes. It's not your fault." My voice was assuring and calm.

I had taken the words my mother used on me when I was only seven, after my dad had left for a year and a half because he and my mom had grown apart. He did come back though, so I had hope for Draco and Narcissa.

"But I do know she'll love you more than ever when she does see you again." I finished, offering him a comforting smile. I could see the sadness behind every part of his face— but Draco would never shed a single tear in front of me.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." He said steadily, though his eyes were still trained to the floor. I nodded with a smile smile and pat the edge of his knee for a few moments, before rising and walking out of the room.

When I looked back, I couldn't believe what I saw. He must've thought I was already gone, because tears streamed down his face.

I turned and left before he could've managed to see me— I didn't want him to be angry for staying. I tiptoed back down the stairs and to the kitchen. The house was quiet— terribly quiet, like something from a horror film.

I poured myself a cup of pitch black coffee with what was left in the coffee machine. I took one of the mugs sitting out on the counter and poured the liquid inside.

I looked through one of the few windows as I drank the liquid; staring out at the gardens which had dark red roses and green hedges surrounding the house. The manor is beautiful, though, the outside is definitely much more appealing than the inside.

I turned to see Draco standing at the kitchen island. His tears had been wiped clean, in fact, it looked like he had never cried. If I hadn't seen him when I did, I would've just thought he never shed a tear.

He was holding his journal in his left hand. Draco gestured fo the living room then began walking in that direction. I sat down my cup of coffee then followed, confusion sparking inside of me.

He had taken refuge on the largest sofa, opening his journal to one of the many full pages. Words had been scribbled on there. I sat down next to him and waited for him to do— or say— something... Anything.

"September 1st," he said slowly, eyes tracing over the page. I knitted my brows together. Surely he wasn't going to read an entry to me... Right? But then his lips parted again, and I realized he was.

"Y/n has grown distant from me. I think I've made a terrible mistake. I didn't mean to- I didn't mean for any of this to happen the way that it did. I try to show her my good side, but I still feel like I have to push her away, no matter what I do."

He spoke calmly. Draco reading his own words was actually quite helpful. I could see and hear is thoughts just based on the way he spoke.

"I don't want her to hate me. But I'm afraid I've made her that way, and there's nothing I can do to reverse it." He finished, allowing a sigh to seep through his lips.

His eyes didn't meet mine, so I could tell this meant a lot to him. It has taken him lots of courage to come this far— to tell me everything he just did. I placed my hand underneath his chin, turning his head toward me.

His eyes stayed glued to the couch. I softly stroked his chin, looking for any signs that he may be willing to talk. But just as he had opened the gates to emotions, he closed them back up again. He isn't ready to process them— his emotions.

"Take your time." I said quietly, letting go of his chin. I rose from the couch, giving a gentle kiss on his forehead. His eyes stayed locked to the ground, even when I walked away.

Every emotion inside of me was appalled. Draco was finally opening up to me, and in a way I never thought possible. Sure, he still needs some work, but he's finally making an effort to show a side of himself that no one else gets to see.

I smiled down at my coffee as I thought back to all the times where I thought Draco hated me— and even the times where he wanted to kill me. When all along, he just wanted a friend.

Maybe not just a friend... A lover.