. . . . .
SUMMER, HUH.
They say summer is the best season out of all other seasons because of multiple things;
No school, no work, no morning headaches, no nagging teachers, beaches, the summer breeze and many more lazy excuses.
I too was one of them.
Keyword being "was".
I was until I entered high school.
Throughout the school year ever since everybody knew I liked someone of the same gender, everything had gone downhill. Everyone who was important to me, everyone whom I had cherished and thought they had the same feeling as me just gone and left.
My mom never talked to me ever since the news got to her. Of all people, it was her that hurt me the most. Here I thought I got her support. I thought she would understand and comfort me and tell me it's fine, that there's nothing wrong with me being me. But I got the opposite response instead.
My childhood friend distanced herself from me the day after. Saying that she didn't want to be seen in the same room as me. She didn't do it so subtle but instead laughed at me and walked off. it hurt.
My classmates were to scared to even be seen with me because they think I'd crush on them. I never expected much from those people anyway but it hurt still because they had turned me into their own play toy, a punching bag that they can do whatever thinking I won't feel anything.
How fucked up people are.
What's worse was when they popular kids knew. They started noticing me and not in a good way. I'd be too scared to even pass the school gates because I know something's gonna happen be it bad or badder.
"oh.. It's Tzuyu."
"She probably has fantasies of Elkie.."
"OMG, for real?"
"I heard from Mark, she was murmuring a girl's name while falling asleep in class."
"LOL the fuck."
No I don't!
I don't even have the courage to stand up to those idiots and say what's on my mind. Like what's the matter with being me?! I wanted to tell them I am as human as they are, as normal as they are but my cowardly self couldn't budge from where I was stood. They only thing I could do was cry.
Crying in the bathroom at 3:04 am in the morning became a routine. No one to come to for comfort.
I cried day and night in the corner of any room and no one cared. Drops of pearl like tears could be seen and sobs from meters away from me could be heard. I could still see worry and pity in people's eyes, I know they want to help me but then at the end of the day, they still cared more about their image and befriending me would just ruin them too. Even teachers wouldn't wanna go near me. They didn't show it though. The professionalism.
Of course, there were a lot of people like me but tend to hide the truth about them and forced a fake image. And when they heard about me and seen the situation I was in, they thought to themselves to never ever come out.
Why go on anyway?
I endured everything till summer had come.
When it did, I was thankful that at long last, I can escape this shit hole and be in the comforts of my own bed not coming out of the sheets till two months later. Even if it's just for a short time. I wave of great relief released itself from me.
Day one of summer, I was doing well. My mother talked to me not as stern and hesitant as she use to before but I could still feel it there. I guess she knew she can't do anything to change me and just delt with it though the distance was still far and her once affection was still no where.
Weeks of summer gone by, I was happy.
I wanted to end this summer with a me time but then I got a call from none other than elkie.
'hey, it's Elkie... Are you free?'
I was shocked.
We hadn't talked for half a year and here she is asking me if I'm free.
I hesitated replying to her at first because it's been a long time but then I found the courage and went for it.
I did like elkie but not in a way she would think I would like her. She's just like the sister I never had, she didn't believe me at the time though.
After replying a 'yes', she told me to come to dress up because we were going somewhere. One of her new friends were throwing a party because summer was at it's peak.
I was even more shocked.
This season has full of surprises.
Again, I hesitated and said no but she kept bugging me to go, what has gotten in to her?
With a shaky breath I let out, I agreed.
Who knew that once I agreed to go there, I would meet my ultimate demise.
Recalling sure was fun, wasn't it.
