. . . . .
THAT SUMMER,
I died in that basement.
That was what used to be the reason why I never liked the feeling of when the said season comes.
But now..
I don't know.
I'm here sitting under a tree, salty tears ready to burst out of my eyes. I wasn't ready, I knew but I wasn't ready. I didn't wanna ever be ready but god hates my guts. I don't even have guts anymore.
Why whole world was at it's peak of cracking and moments away from going supernova.
"Crisis not averted."
I said as the tears finally came through. It was a sunny day yet it felt like a storm's brewing. I wish it would, anything to stop this moment.
Earlier today, that Kim Dahyun called Sana out of the blue. Asked her if she could go to the park this afternoon because there was something Dahyun wanted to tell her.
I felt nervous, so nervous. I exactly know what's gonna happen next. I've been observing these two for quite a while now and when I look into both their eyes, all I could see was affection.
I knew it was going to happen and I readied myself for a massive breakdown later. But in the end, I wasn't. All the preparation, the pep talk, the calming my mind down, the acceptance all went down the drain when I heard Dahyun say she liked Sana.
-Ever since she first talked to her and that was years ago.
jesus.
I could tell Sana's excitement when she heard that. Her eyes sparkled like never ending fireworks, cheeks glowing red. She tried staying calm but the shock was too much and she just deadass went and kissed Dahyun before the girl could even utter a word.
I only sighed and left the park trying to find my way back home.
Why go back though, it'll just hurt you more.
I swept that thought away and continued my walk.
How would she love someone she doesn't even know existed in the same universe as her? How could she love a ghost? She can't sense me. I felt so selfish for some reason.
Sana Minatozaki may be my everything to me but I'm nothing to her and that ends that.
I finally reached the doorstep home.
home huh
It's not even my home, I just went straight in inside and stayed glued to it.
There's no point in going inside is there?
But where do I go now?
Let my unrequited love for her end right at this very place, let what's left of me end here. I think it's about time I leave.
I hope.. She somehow managed to feel my affection for her. Somehow. I'm holding on to that hope.
I love her with all my heart and I will never stop loving her.
"Every single second I spent with you, Sana Minatozaki was bliss and I could replay it everyday as I will."
"From this day forward, I will finally be out of your life even if you never knew I was there."
"This unwanted wandering spirit will still be thinking of you in her next life and the life after that."
Analyzing the insides of the home, looking back on every memory I could remember with her doing anything and everything while I watched from a distance, everyday my once beating filled with both love and pain.
I continued crying. Beads of tears running down my cheek as I leaned by the door. The full moon was bright and full of promises made under it like it was a wishing star.
I had made a wish once. To wish for me to just meet you and for you to know me. It would be the happiest moment of my life.
Maybe this time we couldn't be together but I promise you I'll always be with you. Thinking of you everyday. Imagining I'm holding your hand like I've always wanted.
I love you Sana. Forever and always.
With that last thought, I was gone.
"i'll always be lost in you."
