Broken Book 2

Alejandra Catalina-Elizabeth Swan

Once I stopped crying Carlisle said, "Why did she say babies as in more than one?" I pulled my phone out, popped off the case grabbing the photo and throwing both my phone and case on the bed, and said "Because Dominic was a twin, I called her Allie but her name was Alejandra Catalina-Elizabeth Swan, the car wreck that I had almost lost him in, wasn't his first car accident, He survived that one but when they were three Renee had them while I was at school because Dom was sick. A semi hit the car, for two weeks I hoped and prayed for a second time that my babies would survive but while Dom pulled through, Allie didn't she died the day before I was able to take Dom home. She was the sweetest little girl ever and the most precious smile, while Dom took my blonde hair and blue eyes... Allie looked just like her father, in all her Latina heritage there was no question, that little girl was his." I showed him this photo.

I said "This was taken the morning of the accident, She was the light of my life, Dom was my little prince and together they made up my entire heart. She was... God, she was the reason the sun shone. Her smile lit up the whole world, you thought Dom was a momma's boy but man she was a bigger momma's girl than he was. She absolutely adored her auntie B, the only reason I didn't take her with me was that she wanted to be with her brother. I should have taken her with me but I can't change it now." 

Carlisle said, "I'm sorry both of them passed, how come you didn't tell anyone about her?" I sighed and said "I was afraid that you'd think I wasn't ready to be a mom to Dom, to protect him as he'd need. Which in retrospect, I mean I couldn't protect him so maybe Renee and Bella were correct, I was a terrible mom." Carlisle said "No you weren't, I may have not seen you raise Allie, but I saw you with Dom and you were the best mom he could have asked for. Allie died because of a car accident you weren't even in, that is not your fault. As for Dom, even if you managed to get to him on time it wouldn't have helped, she is a vampire she would have just killed all four of you." I said, "Well at least I wouldn't be living in hell." I got up grabbed my phone putting the picture back and putting the case on it before walking out of the room.

Bella said "I'm sorry, I... I shouldn't have brought it up." I said, "Save it for someone who cares." Jasper said, "How are you feeling?" I said "Better than I have been but I'll never be completely ok Jasper, I don't think you understand but you don't get over losing your child, you just learn to live with the pain." Emmett said "cod?" I said "Sure." Carlisle who had followed me down was sitting in a chair, Emmett and I got on the couch and grabbed controllers. We played for a while and Bella bought me fruit as a peace offering.

She said, "Maddie will you ever forgive me?" I said, "I don't know." She sighed and went upstairs with Edward. I got this uncontrollable need to cry so I tossed Jasper the controller and went up to the room. I grabbed his favorite stuffed animal and laid in bed trying not to cry. Carlisle opened the door and leaned against the frame. "Can I come in?" He gently asked I nodded and hugged the stuffy tighter. He sat on the bed and rubbed my back, he sighed "I wish I could take your pain away." I sighed "I know but... you can't exactly bring my children back from the dead, so there is nothing you can do." he said, "Can I distract you?" 

I said, "No you can't, the only way to distract me is not a way you can anymore." I closed my eyes and he sighed, "I know, you won't let me do that particular activity. However, is there anything I can do to help you?" I said "I don't know Carlisle, all I know is I have a hole in my heart and you can't... you can't fix it and I desperately want you to but I can't force myself to give me what I want and so I cry. I cry because I just want to die and I know that's not allowed or right." He ran his arm down my side so I agreed and rolled into his chest letting him hold me, as I silently cried myself to sleep. 

Two months later, I woke up in Carlisle's arms he was staring at me, finally was trusting Carlisle he has been back three months. He was slowly pulling me out of my depression and back into civilization. He said, "What are you thinking about Mads?" I rolled over to straddle his lap making him slowly rest his hands on my hips, when I didn't move his hands he grabbed me and watched I said "Honestly, I was thinking about the last couple of months and how you have been patient, kind, and understanding with me and how I have been a raging, crying, mess of a bitch. How I've acted isn't fair to you and I realize that. Wanting you and telling you that I wanted you but not letting you help wasn't fair, and I'm sorry..." I didn't get to finish talking because he said "Maddie, you do not need to apologize, I hurt you and then you lost a child, that is hard to handle."

I put a finger over his lips to shush him, he looked at me amusedly and I said "I am trying to apologize, thank you, and give you an award. Why are you so understanding? I swear you are like the only man in existence that isn't toxic and is so understanding, I don't get it why can't all people be like you." he chuckled and said, "Well, I like to think its because I am a good man, besides Mads, no men are toxic, if they don't treat women with respect then they are boys, not men. I am intrigued about this reward though." 

I said "Oh I've intrigued you?" he chuckled "You always do." I sat up on my knees to lean over his body bracing myself against the pillows on either side of his head which gave him the perfect view of my boobs due to the loose silk cami I was wearing and said "You are officially out of trouble, and I know the perfect activity to break in your new freedom." his voice became a little husky as he got turned on and he brought his eyes from my chest to my face and said, "Oh you do?" I smirked and said, "I do, see I've been thinking about this for a while now and I think this is my course of action." I gently placed my lips on his, kissing him, causing him to immediately kiss me back. 

One hand was brought up to tangle in the back of my hair holding my head close to his. The other hand slid up my thigh and got lost under my shorts. I broke the kiss coming up for air and he said "You know the rules if you want to stop then say so." he quickly flipped us so he was on top, he braced himself on his hands and started to kiss my neck, he slipped my cami off me and kissed down my chest.