this is the start | gilinsky

Chapter Thirty-Two

    "Sam?" I'm surprised when I walk up my driveway with Violet to see Sammy sitting on the front steps. "Why are you out here?" I let go of Violet's leash and let her race over to Sam. She licks him a bunch and then scratches at the front door to be let in. 

    "Waiting for you," He tells me nonchalantly. Standing up, he pushes open the front door for Violet and she goes bounding in the house, "Do you wanna hang out?"

    "Sure?" I furrow my eyebrows trying pretend like I'm not phased by how weird Sam's acting. Usually he doesn't ask me if I want to hang out, we just do. It was a spontaneous thing. Maybe it's because he assumed I had plans with Jack?

    Should I have plans with Jack? I mean yeah, he came over for breakfast this morning but is that too casual for a relationship? There it is. That question keeps coming up in every single situation I'm faced with. Are we even in an actual relationship?

    "What do you wanna do?" I ask, ignoring all the other questions I have circling around in my head.

    "I don't know, what do you wanna do?" He shrugs. Something's off. 

    "Are you alright?" 

    "Yeah, why?"

    When Sam starts scratching his ear lobe I have to force myself to stop looking so bewildered.

    "Just wondering..." I'm confused at why he's being awkward. Is this how I am? Why would he even feel awkward? Did I do something wrong?

    "I'm sorry..." Sam sighs, "I'm just tired." 

    Suddenly I remember the events from a couple weeks prior, when I found out about Sammy's insomnia. We haven't really talked about that night, I'm not even sure if he remembers me coming over and seeing him like that. He probably doesn't even know that I know. I hope he's at least slept a little since then. 

    "You should come inside." I suggest, giving him a soft smile. 

    "Okay." He says while following me through the door.

    I announce to Dad that I'm back from taking Violet on her walk, then I lead Sam up into my room.

    I figure he'd be more comfortable on my bed than on the couch in the family room. I don't think he's ever seen my room. Gilinsky has been upstairs a couple times but only for a few seconds while I had to grab something, and obviously Mallory's been up here a bunch. 

    "Lay down." I order, pointing at my bed. 

    "Whoa, you're a little forward there aren't you?" Sammy teases. Instead of rolling my eyes, I smile. That was something the normal Sam would say, hopefully he's starting to feel more like himself. 

    "Just shut up and lay down, you need to rest." I repeat. 

    "Whatever you say mom." With a grin, Sam plops himself down on my bed and I can tell he's fighting to keep his eyes open.

    I think it's funny how he can't sleep when he's home but whenever he's here he falls asleep like a baby. Just the other day he fell asleep in the kitchen after dinner for like two hours straight. We had to get Violet to wake him up. 

    "Goodnight, son." I reply. 

    While Sam sleeps, I decide I should probably take a little nap myself, so I throw myself onto my desk chair. As I close my eyes, I'm reminded of the first night I was here and how I spent the whole night in this chair just because Violet was sleeping on my bed. I laugh to myself thinking of the memory. 

    "Shut up," I hear Sam mumble, "I'm trying to sleep."

    "Fuck you." I make sure to laugh louder just to annoy him. 

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    I wake up to the sound of my phone buzzing on my desk. Catching it just before it flies off my desk, I look down at the screen to see it's a message from Gilinsky. 

Hey babe

     I smile.

Hi dork

What are you doing right now?

    I look over at my bed to make sure Sammy is still sleeping, and of course he is. It's only been about an hour since we dozed off.

Babysitting Sammy

Haha what?

He came over to hang out but he fell asleep 

Wtf he literally falls asleep everywhere

    I wonder to myself if Jack knows about Sam's condition but I think it'd be better not to mention it.

He's a loser

Well you should wake his ass up and throw him out so we can spend some alone time together

Alone time together like a date?

Is John home?

    I bite my lip trying to stop myself from blushing, but I feel my cheeks heat up anyway. Silently thanking God that Sam is still asleep, I look back down at my phone.

Yeah but he leaves for work at 7

Great, I'll see you then

I'm not allowed to have you over when he's not home

Since when?

    I want to say since we started dating but I don't want to freak him out so I'm not really sure how to answer him. When Dad first told me the rule about Gilinsky only being allowed to come over when he was home, I was thrilled that he was acting like a real dad, but now I wish he hadn't said anything in the first place. 

    I clench my jaw as another text from Jack comes in.

So he knows about us?

    Now's my chance.

I guess...but I'm not really sure if I know

    Taking a deep breath I hope I get the answer I'm looking for. I can't believe I've finally gained the courage to talk to him about this and it's over text.

What do you mean

I'm not really sure what we are?

...I can fix that when I come over at 7

Jack

It's okay to break rules somtimes, Mar, loosen up

Do you remember what happened last time you told me to loosen up

Yeah, we kissed the next day

    My heart flutters.

See you at 7

    "Sam!" I yell, jumping out of the chair, "Get your ass up and out of here." 

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HEY HEY HEY!! I'm happy I updated twice today haha I know I haven't done that in a while. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed! If you have any suggestions or advice leave them in the comments! Chapter Thirty-Three will be up soon, don't forget to vote if you'd like! much love-gilinskyshigh