this is the start | gilinsky

Chapter Forty-Two

"I am not going in there, Sammy." I laugh, backing up from the lake. 

"Oh, c'mon, Mar!" Sam pleads. "This is my last chance." 

"Your last chance? What does that even mean?" I question. "Besides, my mom is going to be at the house soon and I don't want to be all soak and wet when she gets there."

"It's my last chance to get you in the lake before you leave." 

"I've been in the lake plenty of times," I tell him, thinking back on my first day here and my first date with Jack, which was here. I bite my tongue to keep from saying anything I'd regret. 

"No, I mean it's my last chance," he repeats. When he sees that I still don't understand where he's going with this he sits down on the dock. I sit next to him and crack my knuckles. "The first time we came here you wouldn't go in," he reminds me. "And I told you that I was going to get you in that lake if it was the last thing I did - so I have to get you in there." 

I think about what he's saying and then I laugh. "Is that why you were so pissed when you found out Jack took me here for our first date?" He blushes. 

"I wasn't pissed." He argues. 

"Yeah, okay." 

"So will you?" 

"Will I what?" I ask, playing dumb. 

"Will you just get in the lake with me one last time?" He begs. 

Sighing loudly, I stand up off the ground and shoot him a look. "Fine," I mumble, turning around towards the water. I can tell he has a goofy little smile on his face even though I can't see him. Taking in a deep breath I take a few steps back, then run forward and cannonball right into the frigid water. It feels good on my hot skin. Before I even surface to the top I feel a splash next to me. 

"Yes!" Sammy's shouts as I bob my head above the water. I grin and smack my hands at him. He splashes me back, then swims to the dock and pulls himself up, sitting down. His feet touch the water and I watch him take his dry shirt that lays next to him and wipe his face with it. 

I furrow my eyebrows at him, pulling at his left leg. "What was the point at getting me to jump in when you're just going to get out five seconds later?" He shrugs at me. 

"Let's talk," he says. 

"About what?" I wonder, resting my arms up on the dock so it's just my lower body that stays in the water.

"You leaving." 

"What about me leaving?" 

Sammy turns to look at me and I can suddenly see the tiredness in his eyes. He looks so vulnerable, not his usual cocky self. "Do you really have to?" I bite down on my lip and start to pick off my nail polish. 

"Summer is almost over," I admit. "I'd have to leave sooner or later anyway." 

"Yeah but that's not for like three more weeks." Sammy counters. 

"I can't stay here, Sam, I've already told you why." 

"Fuck Jack! I know he's my friend and all but for right now, fuck him." 

"I never went that far with him," I joke. Sammy snorts and swats me in the shoulder. 

"You know what I meant."

I sigh. "I know."  

"What happened between you guys when he came over yesterday? You didnt even say anything to us, you just walked out." He asks. "Jack didn't even come out of your room, I'm pretty sure he climbed out through your window." 

"We just talked and I realized that he'd never be the right guy for me." 

Sammy clenches his jaw. "He really liked you." 

"Not enough," I reply. 

"I'm sorry this happened, I really don't want you to go. Neither does Johnson or Mallory, they practically begged me to come here with us today," Sammy tells me. "But, I don't know. I just wanted it to be us. I'm kind of selfish like that." 

I nod. Truthfully, I liked it that it was just the two of us. "Yeah, I get it. Besides, I hung out with them when I came back from walking Violet after you left - why did you leave?"

"I was angry." 

"Are you still angry?" I don't want Sam to be mad at me for leaving, I'm already mad at myself. 

"Not as much." 

"But you still are?"

"Not at you." He assures me. "Not even at Jack, just this whole situation." 

"Me too." I push my arms off of the dock and swim to the other side of Sam and swing his right leg back an forth. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Did you ever like me?" I wonder, ignoring his question. I can't leave without knowing, it's all I've been thinking about since last night. Mallory told me that she thought he did, and Johnson backed up everything she said. I just needed to know for sure. I needed to know what a great guy I missed out on. Even if it made me mad to have chosen the wrong one. 

"What do you mean?"

I scoff, obviously he was not going to give me a straight answer. I stop swinging his leg and get serious. "Remember when we kissed? When I was drunk and Jack wouldn't do it because Leigh, so you did?"

"Of course I remember." 

"Did you like it?" I ask. 

"Well did you?" He retorts. 

"Yeah," I say, nonchalantly. Because I did. Sam seems taken back for a moment, but then gains back his composure. 

"I guess it was okay." He teases. I laugh. "I guess I did like you a little bit for a while." He leans down on the dock so I can't see his upper body anymore. Swimming over the the other side of him, I pull myself up and lay next to him. Water drips off of me all around us.Turning my head, I study his face. He looks content, but still tired. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

"You were head over heels for Jack." 

"I wish I wasn't," I admit. 

"No, it was good that you were. You learned from this experience." 

"I could've learned some shit from you." 

Sam turns to look at me but I've already looked away. The sun boars into my eyes so I close them and squint. He doesn't say anything. I feel him sit up, but I stay on my back. I can't help but wonder what things would be like, how they would've turned out if I fell for Sam instead of Jack. Better or worse? Probably better. 

I think of Nate and almost laugh. What about him? I doubt he'd care if he found out I was leaving. He'd most likely be happy about it. I thought of these things yesterday but I can't help but continue to keep them in my mind. Things could be so different, but I chose Jack. I can't even remember why. 

I've disappointed so many people. Including Dad. I can't believe I'm leaving him just because things didn't work out between me and a stupid boy. 

"Marley?" I hear Sammy call my name. I sit up and whip around, seeing that he's already waiting at his car. I focus my attention back on the lake for once last time and take everything in. The sent, the scenery, the feeling. I'm going to miss it. I feel like I ruined everything. "Marley!" Sammy shouts again. This time I stand up and make my way towards him, but instead of getting in the car, I engulf him in a hug. He hugs back immediately and I can't help but let loose a little tears. Is this the end? I have nothing going for me back in New York except for Mom. What kind of life is this?

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this isn't the last chapter! don't worry haha, anyway thank you for reading! Chapter Forty-Three will be up soon hopefully, and again, if you have any suggestions or concerns or anything feel free to comment! Much love, gilinskyshigh

oh and ps if anyone wants to make a cover for this story that you think would look better than the one I have made do feel free to tell me!