Supernatural Imagines

Never Alone (Castiel)

Y/n Pov

My heart ached inside my chest as I laid in bed staring up at the ceiling. My whole world came crashing down around me the moment Cas died yesterday. Everything inside me feels like it's slowly being shattered into millions of pieces. He and I spent the past five years together in a happy and loving relationship.

Before we met I was a huge alcoholic and one night I almost drank myself to death. If Castiel wasn't in that bar with me that night I wouldn't be here today. I've been sober for five years and six months thanks to him. He helped me get clean and we fell in love from there. Now that he's gone it feels like the world ended.

Sam and Dean have been trying their best to make me feel better even though they're hurting too. I just laid in bed all night crying while Dean looked for a way to bring him back and Sam researched for a new case. He's trying to take his mind off the pain. I don't blame him.

Now that he's gone there's no reason for me not to drink anymore. What's the point in being sober if the love of my life isn't here anymore? He was the only thing getting me through it. When I went through withdraws, temptations, or anything else. It was always Cas that got me through that. He made life easier for me.

I got up out of bed and made my way into the kitchen. I looked in the fridge and found beer. I wanted something stronger, something that will get me drunk faster, that will numb the pain faster. An idea popped into my head and I went into Dean's room. He has a secret stash of whiskey that he thinks no one knows about. I do though.

I grabbed it from under his bed and stared mindlessly at the bottle. It's almost as if it was taunting me. Telling me to open it and drink every last drop. Slowly I took the cap off and held the bottle tightly in my hand, afraid that I might break the glass.

Just as the glass touched my lips the door opened and Dean walked in. His eyes widened and he rushed over to me before snatching the bottle from my hands. "What the hell?" He yelled at me, anger in his eyes.

"Dean please, I need something to stop this pain. I'll buy you another bottle just give it to me." I begged as I tried to snatch it but he stepped backwards. I glared at him and grabbed the bottle but he wouldn't give it to me without a fight.

"Fine take it!" I yelled as I let it go causing it to drop to the floor. Glass shattered everywhere as I ran my fingers through my hair. "Look what you did." I rolled my eyes.

"Good. I don't care if Cas is dead y/n. I'm not letting you lose yourself because of it!" He yelled angrily.

"What business is it of yours? I'm not your child Dean! You can't stand here and tell me that I can't have a drink of whiskey!" I began feeling my heartbeat quicken and the anger build.

"We're family and we don't let family suffer-" he started but I cut him off.

"Oh my god," I cried out as I held my hands on top of my head. "Please... I just need the pain to be gone. I'm tired of feeling like this." After holding it in I finally let myself break down. His face softened and he pulled me into a tight hug. I rested my head on his chest as he let me break down in his arms.

"I know it's hard but turning back to alcohol isn't the answer. Cas wouldn't want this y/n and you know it. Let me help you, please just let me help you." He whispered the last sentence as if he was afraid of something.

I pulled slightly away from the hug and looked into his eyes before nodding my head yes. "I need help, Dean."

He nodded agreeing and gave me another tight but assuring hug. All I need is Cas back. It's all I need.