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Y/n Pov
Today seemed like the perfect opportunity to ask Dean Winchester out on a date. That went south after he got a phone call from one of his old flings asking if he'd want to go out with her. Of course, he didn't pass that up and got ready before leaving. Now I'm sitting in the library all alone with a broken heart. I've been in love with Dean for a year now but couldn't find the courage to ask him out.
The worst that could happen is he says no. Only our friendship would be completely destroyed if he knew how I really felt about him. My mind is at a crossroads and it feels like there isn't anything I can do to fix this. A sigh left my mouth just as Sam entered the room holding his computer. He joined me at the table with a frown on his face.
"Dean?" He asked and I nodded my head yes. He is the only one that knows about my crush on the oldest Winchester. Sam is my best friend and we tell each other everything so it only makes sense I'd tell him about my silly schoolgirl crush. "I'm sorry, I just wish you'd tell him the truth." He apologized.
"It's fine but I'm afraid he'd reject me if I said a single word about this to him."
Once talking with him I just went to take a long bath and think about how pathetic my life is. All my mind could keep going back to is Dean and how Sam is right. The only way to move on from this is to say something. But he's out right now, having a good time so I'll wait until tomorrow. Who am I to ruin his night over something so insignificant?
After my bath, I searched through my clothes for something to wear to bed. As I'm looking my phone starts going crazy on my bed. Sighing I looked to see it's Dean calling. A frown made its way onto my face as I answered it. "Hey," my voice came out quiet and confused.
"Y/n can you come pick me up? Apparently, she didn't call for what I thought she did. Anyway, she picked me up so I got no way home."
"Sure," I responded.
"Okay, but if you scratch baby I'll murder you." He teased making me laugh. After hanging up with him I grabbed his keys and left the bunker. He asked me not to tell Sam but wouldn't say why. She ended up leaving him at a motel like six miles up the road. When I got there he demanded me to get into the passenger seat while he drives home.
The first few minutes were silent until he spoke up. "Thanks again for coming," he smiled over at me then back at the road.
"Sure." I nodded. My mind is just not in the right place to be sitting next to him like this. How much longer can this secret go on before it kills me. He noticed something is up and raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong?" He asked. This is it, the moment to tell him.
"Well, there's something I've been meaning to speak with you about," I started and he nodded for me to continue. It's too late to go back now, I've already started. "For the past year, I have had the stupidest crush on you. And now it's gotten to a point where...where I'm in love with you."
After the words left my mouth silence filled the car. My heart is beating so fast that I can hear it in my ears. His silence is killing me. It's already starting to feel wrong that I even said anything in the first place. Maybe it was a mistake and I'm just an idiot for opening my mouth. Finally, after what felt like forever, he spoke.
"Y/n I-" he couldn't form words. This isn't good. "I don't know how to say this but I don't feel that way about you. I'm so sorry. You're like a little sister to me and I love you in a way where I'd always be there for you to protect you but I'm sorry." He let out and everything inside me broke. "You're such an idiot y/n" is all that kept replaying in my head.
"Look it's not you, it's me. I'm not in a place for relationships right now. If I let myself get that close to anyone again I'm afraid of the pain that comes with it. If it weren't for the life we live my answer would have been different." He assured but none of it made me feel remotely better. A tear slid down my cheek and he didn't fail to notice it.
His chest ached but he just kept his eyes on the road, without letting a word leave his lips. As soon as he turned off the car I jumped out and rushed inside. Before I could make it inside the bunker he grabbed my arm, stopping me in my tracks. My body turned to face him but my head wouldn't look up because if I looked him in the eyes I'd completely fall apart.
"Y/n, please look at me," he begged as he stood dangerously close to me. His face is inches from mine and I can feel his eyes burning into my skin. Suddenly his finger rested under my chin as he forced me to look him in the eyes. All I could see when looking into them were sadness and pain. Dean Winchester is a broken man who is afraid of letting himself feel anything.
"Don't hate me," he begged, his voice coming out as a whisper.
"I could never hate you, Dean," I assured him and that's true. I couldn't. He seemed happy by my answer as his hands reached up to cup both my cheeks. He wiped my tears away as we stared into each other's eyes.
"Maybe in another life, we could have worked but-" he started only for me to finish that sentence for him.
