Every Sunset was Once a Sunrise

24 : Anew

After deleting all of my social media accounts and throwing away my sim card, I sell my phone and never once care to go online or to check news on anyone.

I kept myself busy and mostly alive by taking different jobs I've never thought I'm capable of having. I met countless of people I've never known existed. I went to places I've never seen and been before. And I never thought until those times of solitude how a single cup of coffee and a good book, can complete the hollow part of my life—even for a while. That's why I treat myself with a book every time I get the chance and money to spend it with. I managed to find contentment with the pages of books, together with a sip of coffee and my solitary for my everyday life.

And after a year of wandering around, I finally decided to settle on a small town that's hundreds of miles away from home. It has an overlooking view of the sea so it's not that bad. At sa nakalipas na taong iyon, natanggap ko na sa sarili kong ganito na lang ako, na ako na lang ang mayroon ako. I'm not blaming anyone because it's my decision, after all.

Two years later when I decided to put up a mini second-hand book store with all the books I've collected over the years. Those books are my treasure and I wanted to keep them close to me the way they've grown close to my heart. But as we grow older, we start to discern that if there are things that's worth keeping, it's the lessons and messages that moved us, the emotions we felt. It is the inner things that matter the most and not the tangible thing itself. And that makes letting go of things you thought you needed or that you think is important, somewhat easier.

It was around that time when an odd kid came around.

Palagi ko itong nahuhuling nakadungaw mula sa labas ng store. Ngunit sa tuwing aakma pa lang akong lumapit sa kaniya'y, dali-dali na siyang kumakaripas ng takbo. Palagi rin siyang dumaraan sa shop ngunit kailanma'y hindi niya tinangkang pumasok ni humawak lamang sa pinto nito.

What a weird kid.

It was a rainy day and I was about to close the store as the dusk hits when I found him outside, hugging both his legs in almost a fetal position while sitting on the wet and cold pavement. His shoulders are shaking, a sign that he's crying.

Nagulat man sa nadatnan ay mas pinili kong maging kalmado nang dinaluhan ko siya roon at sinubukang kausapin. Humalukipkip ako at sumandal sa hamba ng pintuan at maigi siyang tinapunan ng tingin. "Hey, kiddo."

Mula sa pagbaon ng mukha sa mga tuhod ay nahuli ko ang bahagyang pagtalon, sunod ang pagkakatigil ng panginginig ng mga balikat niya sa gulat. Marahil dahil sa hindi inaasahang pagkakarinig ng boses ko.

A couple of seconds passed until he decided to hesitantly take a peak on me from hunching over his knees.

I saw how red and swollen with tears his eyes are as it register to mine. And somehow, I felt something tugged inside of me... thinking what my little pumpkin could've looked like now if she didn't left too soon... she's probably around four or five now... and I have to stop thinking about her or about the past right there.

Tumikhim ako at sinubukang muling ituon ang pansin sa bata. "What's your name?"

Pagkatapos suminghot ay mabilis siyang nag-angat ng mukha at mabilis na sinabing, "Alfieño!" At muling nagbaon ng mukha sa mga tuhod. Hindi ako nagsalita hanggang sa muli siyang dumungaw roon. "B-But don't call me that... just... Alfie."

Tumaas ang isang kilay ko sa turan niya. "Okay, Alfie. Mind telling me why you choose to slouch and weep over here of all places?"

He blinked a few times before finally decided to lift his face from his knees. Pinunasan niya ang mga luhang naiwan gamit ang braso bago lumingon sa akin. "M-My lolo collapsed..."