Gone Wrong (Kenma Kozume) Haikyuu

Chapter 19

My mindset seems occupied by those things happened a while ago. I cant even write, observe their game... even helped them by simple things.

I keep zoning out and I hate it.

I keep cursing myself for being dramatic... for being too paranoid of what can Aron do. I said to myself I need to focus, I need to not overthink everything Aron said to me but my guts are killing me.

I sighed deeply and looked at our intertwined hands. Kenma didn't let go of my hand since all of us went home. I can feel the pressure of his hand, how it tighten just to let me know he's there for me...

I made him worried...

"We're here Rin..." He lowly said to me... making me looked up and stared at my apartment.

Oh....

"Rin? Are you ok? I keep talking to you but seems you're too occupied by something... "

"I-I'm ok Kenma..." I said before looking up again at my apartment.

I didn't recognized that we already arrived. My mind is so occupied by thoughts that I didn't realize Kenma keeps talking to me. I feel so bad.

"Are you sure?"

I slowly nodded my head and thanked him but he quickly grabbed my hand again, making me looked at him in confusion.

I saw how he bit his lips as he went near me. He slowly lifted his other hand as he caressed some of my hair, covering my face and putting it behind my ear.

"Kenma?"

"D-Do you wanna talk?" He asked taking me a little bit of surprised.

"Huh? What do you mean Kenma... I'm ok-"

"No, you're not Rin-"

I gave him a little laugh trying to cover everything. "I-Is this about that guy went to the gym a while ago? He's nothing Kenma-"

"It's not just about him Rin! All." He stated. "I... I'm worried, ok? I can't bear seeing you so sad and fighting all alone-"

"Kenma-"

"I know you're hiding something..." He said making me stopped from talking. Both of his hands are gripping on both of my shoulder as he ducked his head while he bit his lips. "and that secret is making you like this... I... darn it... please... tell me everything..."

"I..."

What should I do? I thought keeping it to him will make everything ok. I thought hiding everything will go as I planned.

I thought... I wouldn't make them suffer also by hiding my pain...

"Kenma... I'm sorry-" He quickly shook his head.

"Don't... please, don't say sorry... I just want to know what made you so sad and anxious like this. That night when your mother called, your auntie called... even the time when your cousin called... and now that guy... everything, everything are connected aren't they?" His eyes slowly gazed at me making me stopped functioning.

My mind got interrupted as soon as I heard him say that. When did he heard me and Rintarou talk- wait... does that mean, he's still there when I talked to him?! He... he heard everything?

"K-Kenma-"

"I know there's something wrong. I want to talk to you, everything... but you keep pushing me away, you keep hiding everything and... and I don't want this to continue... if you think it's ok to hide everything-no..."

I swear, this is the first time I saw Kenma like this, and it hurts so much seeing the quiet and calm man being anxious and worried because of me. Him, pleading me to talk and tell all my worries just to let me know that I'm not alone in this world.