Godsend

The Fruity Bastard and the Cat

January 21st, 2015

The chairs in the Littleton Police station hurt Perry's ass. He'd been waiting around for hours for someone to come see him about his incident, and nobody had even bothered to throw a glance in his direction, much less ask him about his self-murder. Perry was convinced he could just walk out of the madhouse that had become the police station, and nobody would even notice. It would be better that way anyway; then he wouldn't have to explain the suicide note and the gun, too embarrassing. 

He took a gander around the station, the constant din of telephone and the maelstrom of voices made it impossible to keep a train of thought. Crying, hysterical women lined the walls in the other chairs, with confused husbands and boyfriends looking for the same answers as Perry. The half-hearted illumination coming from the fluorescent bulbs overhead did nothing to lighten up the mood. Perry was already depressed enough by the fact that he couldn't even kill himself properly, he sure as hell didn't need this place bringing him down. Just as he began to pry his backside off the sad excuse for a chair that he had been sitting on, a stoutly built policewoman approached him.

"Scribner, Perry Scribner?" she had a clipboard with some papers on it, Perry assumed it was his file.

"That would be me, nice to see you folks are doing a punctual job here." Perry said dryly

"Just shut up and come with me. I'm Officer Calico, and I--"

"Calico like the cat?" Perry cut her off.

"Yes, Perry. Like the goddamn cat." Calico wasn't amused.

"Does Officer Calico have a first name?" Perry stretched out his back as he talked.

"Yeah, it's Getting-real-tired-of-this-shit. Junior." she began walking down one of the many hallways.

"That sounds German to me, are you German?" Perry matched her pace as they walked.

"Seriously, Mr. Scribner, I already have to deal with having a goddamn clone of me walking around, I don't need this bullshit right now. Why do they call you Perry, hmm? Did your parents name you after a fucking fruit? Peary?" Calico weaved through a group of officers taking statements, not stopping to see if Perry had been able to keep up.

"That's very clever, Officer Bobcat." Perry was amused with himself. Calico stopped dead in her tracks.

"Oh my fucking-- look, I have like ten other cases of a guy being startled by his clone and killing him, you're the only one that was about to kill themselves beforehand, which is why your case hasn't been dismissed. I'm supposed to make sure you're in a sound mental state before I can give you back your piece of shit gun and send you on your way. So tell me, are you going to try again?"

"No, I don't even want the gun back, I've been waiting all this time for that? Are you kidding me?" Perry slapped his arms against his thighs in frustration. Only after he did it did he realize how childish it looked.

"Good, " Calico pulled the gun out of her jacket pocket and gave it to Perry. "Get out of my station you fruity bastard." Calico turned on her heel and walked back down the hall, blending into the group of sad saps that would be stuck in the station for many more hours. Perry watched her go, smiling to himself.

"Yes ma'am." He said aloud as he made his way out of the station.