Mistakes

Chaper eight

Katsuki's pov:

My soulmate mark. It's almost completely faded away. All that's left is small pieces of lighting with a light glow to them. Fuck izuku your not gonna fucking die on me now. My breathing is even more erotic as endless streams of tears pour down my face. My wrist feels like it's on fire, the bones breaking over and over again like a broken record on repeat. God please let izuku pull through. I don't know what I would do with out him. Ever since the first moment I saw him I knew he would become someone special to me. That day in kindergarten when he approached me and offered to share his lunch with me. A big smile plastered across his freckled cheeks. Please izuku you cant leave me not like this.

10 min later

The doctor comes out of the operating room. His look is unreadable only adding to the anxiety that's been building up inside me.

"Mr bakugou i think you should take a seat."

I sit down slowly fearing radiating off of me, almost visible to the naked eye.

"Izuku he. His lung collapsed. His brain was neglected oxygen for almost 45 minutes. When we were operating his heart had stopped twice. We were able to revive him both times but we were racing against the clock and losing. He-"

"Get to the point dammit"

"Izukus brain didn't have the oxygen it needed to survive. Izuku is brain dead. I'm so sorry but there's nothing more we can do for him but wait."

It's as if time had slowed. People moving, talking, living all in slow motion. The world was a cruel place. So many flaws with the place we call home. So many things over looked by society. Izuku he wanted to kill himself... he knew what this cruel horrid place we live in was really capable of. Izuku was torn apart from the inside out. Slowly breaking, sinking deeper and deeper into despair each passing day. I loved him yet I told him to kill himself twice. I bullied him for years told him he wasn't good enough, that he was useless and didn't have a place in the world. This...this is my fault. If I would've just been honest about how I felt about him. If I would've set my pride aside and realized what he was going through. He would still been here, sitting next to me with that big goofy grin I love so much. His eyes would've been sparking like the stars just looking at me. His adorable freckles that dusted his cheeks highlighting his perfect pale skin.

It's been three days since izuku was pronounced brain dead. Three days since I've eaten, showered or even got our of bed. Guilt and sorrow splashing over me like a tidal wave. Sweeping me off my feet and pulling me in. Allowing me to realize just how shitty of a person I really am.

I just i don't understand. Why izuku? He was kind to everyone and always wore a smile yet the universe decided he had to be put in a coma. Meanwhile i put others down. Insult those I care for and act like a brat to everyone around me. Yet here I am still alive and breathing. I try to get some rest but every time I close my eyes I see him.

The class doesn't know about izukus condition. I asked the hospital to keep this under wraps and not let anyone visit him. I know it's selfish but I can't face them knowing full well I'm the reason all this happened. If I would've just accepted him as my soulmate none of this would've happened. The only thing I have left of him now is a tiny, barely visible flash of green lighting. That lightning was the only thing keeping me going. The only-

RINNGGGG RIINGGG RII-

Shitty hairs calling. I don't wanna talk to him but it's been three days since I've even touched my phone. I don't want them to think I died. Not that it's far off from what's actually been going on. I sigh before picking up the phone.

"BAKUBRO YOUR ALIVE!!""

"Yeah yeah what do you want shitty hair."

"Hey bakugou are you okay? You haven't been answering your phone and you sound like you havnt slept for days. Is everything alright."

No everything's not alright.

"Yeah everything's fine I've just been sick the past few days"

"Oh okay...well if your up for it theres a meteor shower tonight. It only happens once every 10 years and it's happening to tonight. You in?"

The Miyamizu shower is tonight. Deku and I used to watch it on my roof. It's my favorite memory of izuku.

(A/n y'all should watch 'your name' it's a really good movie. Miyamizu is the last name of the girl in the movie)

"Pass."

"Ahh common bakubro pleeeeaaaasssseee?"

"No bye shitty hair."

And with that I hung up. Has it really been that long since the last meteor shower? I sigh once again before slowly drifting to sleep.

I woke up a few hours later panting and sweating bullets. I had a nightmare about deku. We were back at the school when he fell. I kept running after him but he wouldn't slow down.

Katsukis dream:

"DEKU WAIT PLEASE COME BACK DOWN!"

He was running up the stairs getting father and father away from me. After what felt like hours of chasing and chasing him he finally stopped and looked back at me. He smiled his signature smile before waving a small goodbye and letting the floor below him break. All I could do was watch as the floor swallowed him up.

End of dream

Dammit. DAMMIT. I check the time and see it's 8:23. The meteor shower starts at 8:28.

I stand up and walk over to my window opening it and slowly climbing into my room. I sat there quietly waiting for the show to begin. Soon I start to see the starts and meteors fly by. All I can think about is deku and how much he would love to see this. How much i would love him to see this. Here, with me sitting on the room looking up at the night sky.

I look up and see a shooting star. Memory's flooding back into my mind. I cant believe I'm doing this but...

"Universe please let deku wake up."

I slowly open my eyes and I hope my wish reaches the gods.

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