JENLISA - BEFORE STAGE

J - 3

"You look so happy."

Jisoo welcomed me in my own room. Of course she's comfortably lying in bed, under my sheets while playing her favorite video game.

"Did I enter the wrong bedroom?" rolled my eyes on her.

"Nope! This is your room — still, i guess?" grinning evilly at me.

"Can you please scoot over, I wanna lie on MY own bed."

"No, go and freshen up first then we'll have a talk."

Yes, mother? I like the way she's giving me orders but.. yup! She's our Jisoo so I just rolled my eyes once more then deeply sighed out my frustrations. While Jisoo on the other hand just simply got back to her gaming business without minding my annoyance.

"Jendeukie, aren't you done yet?"

I just got out of the shower. This Jisoo's really something, she kept on asking me what's taking me so long, that's why I rushed myself to finish quickly coz my boss is getting impatient.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting, boss. I'm here now, what's this meeting all about?" sarcasm kicking in, she unfurled the sheets, allowing me to scoot over beside her. HER bed huh?

"We are talking about your café date with Lalisa."

"What about it?"

She beamed sweetly then started playing with my hair. I instantly felt my nervousness kicking in every part of my body. And all of a sudden, I can feel blood rushing to my head til my cheeks started to heat up.

"I'm just happy that you took the time to bond with her and you gave yourself the chance to get to know her," she gently caressed my back.

"I know, thanks for being so patient with me when I told you that I'd do it but with my own phase and time."

"Of course, Jendeukie. So, is she still too annoying for you?"

I paused for a while, smiling and remembering all the junctures I had with Lalisa this day. I imagined being so pissed at her early in the morning then having one of the most unforgettable moments in my life during the afternoon.

"You know what Chu, surprisingly I'm impressed by the Lalisa that I bonded with today. She has this other side of her that I wasn't able to see yet or probably I was just not minding it all along?"

"Which side? The sentimental side or the super strict and grumpy side?" Chu's scratching her head while beaming naughtily.

"Wait, she HAS a strict and grumpy side?" my eyes are widened at this point of my life. I held Chu's arm tightly, "seriously?" that's interesting.

"Which means... the sentimental side, huh?" I nodded.

As much as I can't get over the fact that Lisa has a very strict and grumpy side, I brushed it off coz I was more interested on Chu's point of view about Lisa's sentimental side. I looked at her intently while nodding slowly as a sign for her to further elaborate her POV.

"Lisa is very sentimental, Jennie. She's very fragile and she easily gets hurt but wont ever share that with anyone," she pouted while shaking her head.

"So how'd you know she's sentimental when she doesn't tell stuff?"

I bit my lower lip, it felt uneasy but I'm now so interested in knowing more about Lalisa. I was moving my body from left to right, pulling and pushing the blanket from me. Chu took a deep sigh then looked at me with a sad expression in her eyes.

"I can sometimes hear her cry at night, actually a lot of nights. I wasn't really that sure yet coz I was thinking prolly she's just watching KDramas. Until one morning I saw her getting one piece of pillow case from the dryer. I asked her what the hell's wrong with her, she told me that she wanted to wash all her tears away so they wont come back the next night. And since then, every time I hear someone sobbing at night, the next morning I'd see her getting her pillow case from the dryer."

My heart's starting to feel heavy, I'm about to cry but I'm holding my emotions. I don't want Chu to see me crying. I kept on swallowing my own saliva, my throat's starting to hurt. I kept on blinking in the hopes that my tears wont roll down any minute now.

"She's sad, Jennie. She misses her family, she's alone. She was just a little girl when she left home and started to live in a foreign country by herself. Imagine how it is for her to live here in Korea without understanding one bit of our language. She pretends to be strong but she's not that strong."

I suddenly felt hot liquid rolling down my face. I couldn't control it, my heart was aching for Lisa. How could I be so blind? How could I be annoyed by someone who's as soft hearted as her? Why did I allow her to feel alone all these years, without someone standing by her and ready to protect her? She was just a baby when I first met her, my little Pranpriya.

"Why are you crying?" she hugged me then slowly caressed my back.

"Thank you, Chichu for taking care of Lisa. I just feel so guilty that I left her hanging, I was the first one who met her during trainee days but then I abandoned her," I wiped my tears but they kept on adding up before I could even finish wiping it.

"It's not your fault, Jennie. Don't blame yourself. Lisa would never blame you for anything, that girl adores you so much, do you know that?" she tucked my hair at the back of my ear, beaming so sweetly at me.

"No," I sobbed.

"Well now you do. She always talks about you, how great of a rapper you are and how she idolizes you, she's your little fan Jendeukie. Even before we debuted as blackpink, even before we had fans who believes in us, you always had Lisa as your number 1 fan."

~

It's been two hours since Jisoo and I had that conversation. But I still can't get over it. Her words about Lisa kept on running in my head and every time I remember her being alone, droplet of tears are falling from my eyes.

What if Lisa's crying right now? What if she feels alone? What if she's hurting or not feeling well? Is her shoulders okay? God, I cannot with this. I won't be able to sleep peacefully tonight if I won't be checking up on Lisa. I just had to do this.

*deep sighs*

I'm standing outside Lisa's bedroom, walking back and forth like a husband waiting for his pregnant wife deliver their baby, so tensed and sweaty. Still wondering if I'm doing the right thing, I bit my lower lip and started to knock on her door.

"Lisa?"

I said in a hushed voice, I placed my ear on her door trying to decipher any unusual sounds. After three tries of knocking and calling Lisa, there wasn't a single response at all. She's probably sleeping coz she's really buggered BUT I still wanna make sure. My hand was resting on the doorknob for quiet a while til I finally had the guts to slowly open the door.

"Lili?"

Still in my hushed voice. I bit by bit walked further until I saw a peacefully slumbered Lalisa Manoban covering her whole face. 🥺 Sleeping with a little nightlight coz probably she's scared of the dark? I tried to study her whole room with the slightest source of light coz this is my first time to get inside.

I felt relieved after seeing her dozed off soundly. I was about to leave when I felt her move, revealing a cute bang-less Lili while hugging a teddy bear. I had to cherish this moment, so I stood there for few more minutes just adoring how this cute maknae sleeps til I finally got back to my senses and decided to quietly make my way out of her room.

"Jennie unnie, what were doing in Lisa's room?"