never have i ever | (chaesoo)

5

JISOO

Lisa's loud voice boomed through the small space, shaking me out of my almost shameless staring at Rosie. I immediately sat up straight and cleared my throat, before I heard Lisa speak once again, "Jisoo, when you're done staring at Rosie, I would like to get back to my questions. Thank you. Are you done now?"

I shot Lisa a glare, but only ended up failing when I heard Rosie giggle beside me, doing a better job at reeling me back into reality. This was the sound that kept me steady back then, how is it possible that it's still the same sound that I feel some form of safety in?

I took a glance at Rosie, who was still giggling to herself, before she caught my eye and suddenly started laughing out loud. She had her head thrown back, small tears pooling at the edge of her eyes, and her hands covering her mouth that was wide open. Had this been anyone else laughing at me, I would have been pissed. But how could I be even the slightest bit annoyed when Rosie was here, laughing without a care in the world, as if this was the funniest thing she has ever heard in her entire life, producing the kind of sound I don't mind hearing for the rest of my life?

I smiled along with her, until I was once again transported back to a memory of me telling her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her on a random Saturday morning.

Rosie made breakfast that day. Of course, "breakfast" was a mix of two boxes of cereal and some fruits she arranged on a plate to make a smiley face. She wasn't a horrible cook, just that she truly believes that her greatest gastronomic discovery was in mixing two different cereal boxes into a bowl to make what she calls a "hybrid cereal". Me, being the hopeless romantic head over heels in love with my girlfriend, could only agree.

There wasn't much to say about breakfast, except that we both thoroughly enjoyed our bowls of hybrid cereals and that Rosie would have fought me to death for the last piece of grape on the plate. She was so happy about her "victory" that she was dancing in her seat as she chewed on the last piece of grape, smiling happily, as if she was in pure and utter bliss. As if she was the happiest woman in the world.

I watched as she seemed to be in her own world, truly happy and content. I didn't realize that I was smiling as I watched my girlfriend, and that was when the thought hit me, that I wouldn't mind having this for the rest of my life. That I wouldn't mind having hybrid cereal forever, that I wouldn't mind giving up the last piece of fruit on my plate for my girlfriend, that I wouldn't mind watching her happy little dances for the rest of my life.

Before I could think it further, I just found my mouth opening to say the words.

"You are all I want for the rest of my life."

The statement, caused Rosie to immediately stop dancing in her seat to look at me with wide eyes. I didn't realize the weight of what I just blurted out so casually that when it finally dawned on me, and seeing the way my girlfriend was looking at me, I thought I had truly screwed up. Who even says things like that at a breakfast table?

Neither of us said anything for a few moments, we were just staring at each other. I was trying to think of words to tie together to apologize to her for saying something like that out of nowhere. Of course, there was an ache in my chest I was trying so hard to ignore, because the thought also just dawned on me that maybe she doesn't see me that way, that she doesn't see me as someone she could spend the rest of her life with. It hurt even more to realize that I wouldn't be able to blame her if she thought that way because who was I compared to who she was, to who she was going to be?

She stood up without saying another word to me, and that was when I felt my heart properly break. I didn't need to hear the words, seeing her walk away was enough to tell me all I needed to know.

My vision suddenly blurred as the tears started to form in my eyes, but before they could even fall, all my senses filled with Rosie. The faint scent of her strawberry-scented perfume, the feel of her arms around me, her long blonde hair falling to the side, and suddenly, the taste of her lips on mine.

I was getting overwhelmed and confused, wanting to pull away to properly look at her, to properly ask her.

But she once again filled all my senses when she spoke to say the words: "Jisoo Kim, you are the only constant, unchanging thing I see in the entire course of my life."

The words didn't sink in immediately, and I guess she saw utter confusion written on my face. She laughed a little, making my heart swell at the sound, before she said,

"You are all I want for the rest of my life too."

-

"Jisoo? Hello?"

I was transported back into reality, to find Rosie looking at me with puppy eyes and waving her hand in front of my face. I must have spaced out for so long while on my trip down memory lane, quickly apologizing to both Lisa and Rosie.

"What were you thinking of?", Lisa asked from behind the camera.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it"

"Really? You seemed really into it. Were you thinking of having sex with that hot new author you just signed?"

The question surprised me, and seeing my reaction made Lisa laugh out loud from behind the camera. "You were!", she continued to laugh, making a whole scene with her clutching her stomach and howling loudly.

"Fuck off, Lisa", I mumbled out.

I suddenly felt the couch move, forgetting for a moment that Rosie was in the same room as us. I looked over to her, looking pensive with her head down as she played with her fingers. She looked like she had a million thoughts running through her mind, and all I wanted was to know all of them. Before I could even make a move to ask, however, Lisa calmed down from her high and went back to business.

"Okay! Next question on this game!"

Rosie and I both sat up properly on the couch. I took a quick glance at her, but she was already looking straight into the camera, so I decided to do the same.

"Oh, this is cute. Never have I ever posted a photo of us being happy while we were mad at each other", Lisa smiled.

"I have", Rosie quickly answered.

I was about to open my mouth to say my answer, but Rosie, once again, beat me to it.

"Next question, please"

"Hey, I haven't answered yet", I said to her.

She scoffed at me before she motioned for me to continue. I wanted to think about it a little more, or maybe ask her the exact instance that she posted a photo of us being happy while we were upset with one another, but her facial expression and the way it suddenly felt like she wanted to just get this over and done with made me hesitate.

"I have never", I said.

"Next question, please, Lisa", she once again said without even looking at me.

Seems like she really wants to get out of here and have nothing to do with me. That broke my heart a little bit.