𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 | sɓuıɯı⊥

Chapter Twenty-Two

The next morning you woke up and went to the gym, you passed some people in the tower and walked straight in, Steve was on the punching bag, you ignored him and went straight on the treadmill, you felt strange not being next to Bucky, you looked over and didn't see him, you slowed them treadmill down and walked of it.

You went another day without eating, you laid up in your bed scrolling through photos of you and Bucky, you had written out multiple texts to him but never sent them, you left him, you couldn't then start texting him. You wrote multiple emails to him but again couldn't bring yourself to send them. You thought about what he might be doing right now, properly in the gym, getting big and shit. That thought brought a little smile to your face. You soon cried yourself to sleep again.

You woke up when you received a notification on your phone:

One text from Barnes 🦾🦞

You shoot up and wiped your eyes from their sleep, you waited for your eyes to focus and you got butterflies the moment you fully saw it was his name, you tapped on the notification.

I don't get why you look this good blurred. I miss you. 👎🏻

I don't know why you look this good in red. I miss you. So fucking much. Ugly cry sobbing, stake through heart miss you. I'm sorry

I don't know what's more beautiful you or the lake. I'll be waiting. I was selfish to expect you to stay.

Hands down, you. I was selfish to leave you.

He texted you back:
❤️❤️❤️

You texted:
Using emojis, I'm proud. ❤️❤️❤️

You were all of a sudden in a better mood, you had a shine to your face you hadn't since you got back to New York, you went into the shower, put on some ripped jeans with a strappy vest top and a one of Bucky's hoodies:

You walked into the kitchen and saw Steve who stood with Sam, "what's got you looking so chipper today?" Sam asked taking a sip of his coffee, "nothing." You said trying to hide your smile, "does it have something to do with a certain gentleman who is currently residing in a hidden country?" Sam laughed, "I will never tell." You said with a great big smile. Rhodney came in and told you about Tony's funeral, that it would be in two days.

You grabbed an apple and then walked back too the guest room, you changed the sheets and cleaned up a little bit, you were feeling optimistic today and wanted to get enough done to satisfy you. You asked Steve or Sam if they had anything that needed to be washed and they gave you a large pile of stuff between the two of them. Later that night you sat down with Steve and Sam after cooking them dinner and then you watched a film on Netflix.

Sam went to bed as he was tired, it was just you and Steve, he was at one end of the sofa and you were at the other, he slide so he was sitting closer to you, you didn't pay much attention to it but you eyed him suspiciously, he cleared his throat and moved his arm so it dropped across your shoulders, you paused the movie and took Steve's arm from around your shoulders. You turned to face him.

"Steve, if you can't watch a simple movie with me, without getting touchy feely, well I guess we won't be watching movies together." You said getting up from the chair, he grabbed your hand and got up as well. "Steve I'm giving you one chance to get off me." You said looking up at him with anger in your eyes. "Why? It's just me and you, no one will know." Steve said, "I'll know, your not who I want anymore Steve. The person I want happens to be your best friend and I can't have him because of you. So for once in the whole time you've known me show me a bit of respect and let me go." You said pulling your arm from his hand.

"Why him? Why him over me?" Steve said, your heart ached as you thought back to Bucky saying the same words before you left him in another country. "Because he's got my heart Steve." You said given the same response as you gave Bucky, "because, because, I can't sleep knowing he's all the way across the world. I can't eat because he's half way across the world, I can't, I can't, my heart hurts every time I think about the fact that I left him, alone, something he hasn't been since he woke up from Cyro, I left him alone because of you Steve, because he is strong, he is strong without you. But your not strong without him, your the one who needs him more than anyone. Sure he needs you, but he was by himself for over 70 years." You said crying, "why him Steve? Because I love him, I have loved him from the moment he woke up from Cyro, and hell I'm pretty sure I'm going to love him until the day I die." You said walking back to your room leaving Steve standing there with tears in his eyes.

As you rounded the corner, you still had pent up anger. You raced back to the lounge, "and he would never break my heart Steve, never in a million years." You said storming back to your room, you did the same as what you did the second night without Bucky, tears dropped from your face and you smothered it into the pillow, you let sobs take over your body once more.