a l o n e.

Mo looked up at him and smiled small.
He looked up at the TV and seemed so interested. Mo took that time to pay more attention to his face and didn't even recognize all of the freckles he had until now.
The way his brows seem so perfectly arched and the way the bridge of his nose aligned with his face precisely was breathtaking. He was beautiful and as much as she wanted to tell him in that moment she didn't.
"Did you get all these tattoos really young?"
she asked breaking his attention from the TV.
James looked over at her and smiled. He then looked back at the TV and nodded. He rested his chin on his forearms and continued. Mona slightly bit her lip and caught her hand before she could run her fingertips down his spine all the way to the dip or the arch of his back right before his ass.
That was the sexist place to scratch whenever her back was getting blown. It had been so long for her and if he didn't put a shirt on soon, she was soon to act out all of the things she sent to him in the messages they sexted.
"You're not cold?"
she questioned.
"Mo...I wanna watch this,"
he spoke quickly.
Mo smacked her lips playfully and pushed him. James laughed a little turning his attention to her.
"What? What you want girl? You want daddy to pay attention to mommy?"
he inquired while running his tongue over his bottom lip.
"I-I um..."
Mo cleared her throat making him laugh.
"I just want to talk"
James sat up in her bed displaying his bare chest. Mo couldn't deny the attraction, however she couldn't help but notice his ribs.
"James...how much do you weigh if you don't mind me asking,"

James looked down at his half naked body and retrieved his shirt. He threw it over his head and slid his arms in each sleeve.
"Mo don't start,"
he told her.
"But you're just really skinny...are you on drugs?"
she blurted.
James chuckled and shook his head. He knew he couldn't talk to her about anything. Now he was some crackhead to her?
"Why would think that? Just because I told you what happened at the party huh? You think I'm just a damn crack head out here? I was fucking homeless for a whole year Mo what you expect? You want me to weigh two hundred pounds or something? I'm eating! I am! But I can't help if it's not doing shit,"
he defended.
Mo's mouth agape as she tried to find the right words to say to him. She didn't mean to be offensive in anyway.
"James I'm sorry I didn't mean to co-
"JUST STOP MO! OKAY? YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO SLEEP IN THE CAR WITH YOUR DAUGHTER IN THE FRONT SEAT AND YOU WAKE UP WITH A FUCKING TOW TRUCK CHAINING UP YOUR SHIT READY FOR IT TO BE LIFTED. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE BLISTERS AND BOILS ON YOUR FEET OR WATCHING IT ON YOUR DAUGHTERS. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ABLE TO DO SHIT ABOUT MY DAUGHTER HAVING A RASH ON HER PRIVATE PARTS BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T WIPE HERSELF PROPERLY. BETTER YET YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO SQUAT IN THE WOODS TO PISS. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO ATTEMPT SUICIDE BECAUSE SHIT NOT GOING RIGHT. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE AN EIGHTY YEAR OLD ALCOHOLIC MOTHER. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO FEAR HER NOT BEING HERE. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT'S LIKE TO HAVE NO BIOLOGICAL FAMILY THAT GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOU. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE YOUR SHIT PUT OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSE WITH A PINK SLIP. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE CHEATED ON BY YOUR FUCKING FIANCEE? TO FIND A USED CONDOM IN YOUR BED? YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WHEN YOUR FIVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL HER OWN NAME? THREE FUCKING LETTERS? YOU KNOW HOW IT FUCKING FEELS TO WANT TO DIE EVERY FUCKING DAY? HUH?"
James ranted as tears poured from his eyes.

Mona sat there with tears falling from her eyes as well. She had no idea her words would break him down. She was trying to do everything but break him, but uplift him and make him stronger.
She watched as he breathed heavily and stood to his feet.
"YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW SHIT MONA! IM NOT FUCKING PERFECT. YOU THINK I WANT THIS TO BE MY LIFE? YOU THINK I WANT THIS SHIT? ANY OF IT? HUH?" he screamed. "I don't even know how to think or what the fuck to do,"
he cooed much softer as he slid down the wall.
Mona watched as he buried his hands in his face and broke down. She slowly wiped her tears and met him on the floor. She hesitantly wrapped her arms around him.
"No you feel so fucking sorry for me...Don't. It's all my faultttt.." he fought her off through his tears.
"Shhh I'm here...just know I'm here,"
Mo consoled him pulling him into her chest.
James didn't have any explanation as to why he blew up or grew defensive. He just knew one thing. He was tired.