Moving back to you.

Chapter 11

Chapter 11 - Whatever

One word.

Just one freaking word and he managed to send my sanity away to nowheresville.

What's the matter with me? After all these years, I thought I was over him.

I can't still be in love with Ash. I just can't. I don't wanna bring any more pain. It's easier, it's for the best.

Why can't feelings be just erased in an instant with an eraser? Wy can't it be undone by pressing Ctrl+Z? Why can't I just delete it one by one with the use of the backspace button? Why does feeling this shit so complicated? So painful.. So lethal.

When I was just a little girl, I always dreamed of feeling this so-called love. I would draw pictures of me and my prince. Complete with flowers, butterflies, sunshine, singing birds and the two of us holding hands, sitting under a big oak tree. Sometimes, when Mom was away to the grocery, I would sneak in to their room and lock myself in their walk-in closet. I would hunt her wedding dress down and wear it with her matching heels. I even remember tripping whilst trying to practice my walk I'll be doing down the aisle when my big day comes. It was perfect. Too damn perfect that reality can't handle it so life crushed it.

Look at me now. A moment ago, I was sitting under a tree. No hands holding mine. No butterflies flying. There may be birds singing but the cold breeze was just too much. Then here I am, sneaking around the school even though I have every right to be here, hunting someone I might know just to have some company, wearing nothing but my worn out jeans and plain shirt, not as grand as my Mom's wedding dress, walking alone down the hallway, trying to reach the end without tripping, and then realizing no one's waiting for me at the end.

My life sucks..

I sat down, leaning my back against the cold the wall at the end of the hallway. Still wondering why there's so few in here. I'm trying to get rid of whatever it is that bothers me.

Whatever namely: Calvin. Moving back to Bridgeport. Bri and Jim. Lena and Levin. School. Ash. Ash. Ash. Ash. Ash.

And seriously, I don't know why I'm bothered with Bri and Jim's relationship. Being bitter aren't we, Codie?

And half of whatever is entirely made up of Ash.

Tennis.

Oh, shit. I just remembered. Tell me again why I agreed to that.

Yeah, I play. I PLAY. Just PLAY.

But with some unknown reason, I said yes.

Coach Sanders has his way with words. Very convincing. He should have just entered the business world. Sales talk and all.

My butt kinda hurts so I stood up and walked straight to homeroom. The last thing I want to do is miss any class. Even though I'm pretty sure, I won't be paying any attention to what the teacher will be blabbering about.

And the moment I sat on my seat. The bell rang.. Well, that was perfect. Perfect timing.