Severus Snape A Soul Undiminished

Chapter 7 - Pitch Dark

Chapter 7

Pitch Dark

Sirana woke to find herself in his bed. She knew that this wasn't where she had fallen asleep earlier and was very curious to how she ended up here. The room was dark. She wondered how long she had been sleeping—surely not since this morning. She couldn't see if there was anyone next to her in the bed. The room was pitch black so she couldn't see her own hand in front of her face even if she tried, which she did. Curiosity took over any sense she had, and she slowly slid her arm across the cool sheets. Her motion was suddenly stopped when her hand met the warm body lying on the other side of the bed. She didn't want to startle him awake, so she slowly withdrew her hand. She let out a gasp of surprise when he quickly rolled towards her, grasping her hand in his. His roll brought him close enough to her that she could feel the heat of his body radiating under the covers, but he did not touch anything but her hand.

"Is there something you need?" Severus drawled, and she heard a tinge of humor there, suspecting he was teasing her a little. She could imagine a mischievous smile on his face, although there was not enough light in the room for her eyes to even start to adapt to seeing anything. She pulled her hand back gently, removing it from his grasp, and assured him that she was fine. He didn't make any move to roll back away from her, and she could hear his low, slow breaths in the otherwise quiet room. She almost imagined she could hear his heartbeat as well, and then realized it was her own, pulsing hard and fast. She could no longer keep up the pretense that she was breathing calmly and drew in a deep breath, letting it back out again slowly. She suddenly felt panic rise in her. She did not know this man, or his intentions. In fact, I don't even know my own intentions, she thought dryly. She was not repulsed by the closeness of this stranger, and she had already admitted her attraction for him. Her body was so tense now, trying not to move and risk touching him, either accidentally or intentionally. She tried to relax, as surely she could trust herself not to maul the stranger next to her, and realized she was indeed holding herself back from the urge to reach out. What was she trying to protect? She could not find an answer to her own question. She had nothing to lose in this reality, no reputation to uphold, no ties to anyone or anything. She finally closed her eyes and gave herself into everything around her. She felt like she was deep in a dream, seeing nothing, but hearing and feeling everything. She slowly reached out again, and this time, allowed her hand to find his again, right where she had left it.

Severus wasn't sleeping when he felt her hand touch his side. He noticed the change in her breathing and knew that she had awakened. He felt her hand move across the sheets toward him and he lay perfectly still until she withdrew her touch. He was feeling mischievous when he rolled over to ask her if she needed anything. He knew what he wanted from her but wasn't under any illusion that she would admit to wanting or needing anything from him. Now that he was so close to her, he didn't want to move away, and even though he resisted making more contact than her hand, he was satisfied with that connection. He had almost retreated to his side of the bed when she had slipped her hand out of his—until he heard her breath become quicker and deeper. He saw through her effort to hide the feelings she must have also felt, and although he was still surprised by her attraction to him, he knew he wasn't the only one feeling the almost magnetic force drawing them together. His suspicion was validated when he felt her hand find his again. His own pulse quickened as he felt her hand move from his, softly caressing his arm up to where it rested on his shoulder. His breath caught in his throat. He was keenly aware of the duality of his thoughts—part of him was deeply touched at her timid attempt at reinitiating the contact between them, the other part of him fully absorbed the intensity of the tantalizing touch of her hand on his arm. He felt the need to rush to find out the direction this was going, to force the hand to be played, but he didn't want to risk an early ending if she rejected him. Severus was initially surprised by his body's intense reaction, cursing himself as being weak. He was not an inexperienced youth, unable to control his carnal desires, and he quietly steeled himself. He brought his hand up to rest on top of hers, then slowly traced the same path on her arm that she had on his. His hand reached her shoulder, and they both froze, content for a moment to enjoy the unexpected closeness of the mutual contact.

The pressing silence of the room was broken by Sirana's hesitant whisper, "Will—Will you hold me?" He was almost undone by her gentle request and breached the distance between them by swiftly moving to pull her in towards him. One would think that there would have been the sound of thunder crashing when their bodies crossed the plain of heat radiating between them. He felt her arm wrap around him and heard a soft "Mmmm..." coming from the darkness. Any doubt he had was drowned out by the sheer magnitude of his desire, and he heard a low, throaty moan come from deep within himself. He lowered his head towards her, unable to see anything in the darkness, and felt a sweet sense of gratitude as his mouth found her soft, willing lips ready for his. There were no walls between them then, and he felt her melt into him, meeting his passion with her own. He had nothing to compare this experience to, and although he had known young, innocent love for Lily, and wanton lust for women later in his life, this was on another plain of reality in its fierce intensity of emotion and sensation. He openly let himself register the raw emotions he was feeling, remembering his determination to never allow this woman to come to any harm—even from himself. He recognized that they were approaching the point where they may no longer be willing to put a stop to an inevitable end, and he made a concerted effort to slow the pace of their passionate kiss.

Sirana was utterly shaken, her breath deep and ragged, her entire body quivering with the effort of pulling herself away from the powerful spell this wizard had put her under. She immediately conceded to herself that this powerful feeling had nothing to do with magic but seemed instead to radiate from each of them. She felt as if she was immerging from a deep abyss of swirling sensations, sounds, and emotions to slowly regain conscious, lucid thought. No longer bewitched, she realized that Severus had pulled them both back from the brink. She felt a twinge of shame at her lack of control but was unwilling to chastise herself for the most euphoric experience that she had never even imagined to be possible. It was just a kiss—just. She realized that the impassioned kiss from earlier was just a starter in comparison.

Severus Snape was a powerful wizard, a powerful man, and this moment took every bit of his concentrated power to resist his own dark side, which was telling him that stopping now was folly. He didn't consider that he was using his will to fight not only against his dark side, that craved the need to consume this woman with lust and savage desire but also the part of his being that sought love and acceptance, and even whispered promises of the healing of wounds. There was another part of him though that was fiercely determined to protect this woman, and this part won the battle that would even defend her against his own passion, his own emotions, his own desire to be rid of the painful wounds so deep that they slowly seeped out anything good and light, threatening to diminish even his own soul.

Severus did not pull away from Sirana, even though their passion was quieted, leaving only the sound of ragged breathing coming from each of them. In fact, he pulled her even closer to him as if to envelop her entirely with his body. His mind pictured himself as a bat, wrapping her up with large, black wings, and he would have felt fortunate to have that capability now to completely encapsulate her with himself, warding off any that would penetrate his defenses.