Severus Snape A Soul Undiminished

Chapter 55 - Dread

Professor Dumbledore had returned from his travels, and the students were back from their Christmas break as well. Sirana's students and the other teachers had welcomed
her back joyfully. If it wasn't for the threat of danger hanging over them, all would have been well. Even the weather seemed gloomy, and she could see all of it taking its toll on the students and teachers alike.
She had just heard that Hagrid's Acromantula friend was ill and was on her way to go see how Hagrid was doing. She hadn't seen him since before she left, and she missed her giant friend. He greeted her warmly with a hug that was surprisingly gentle considering his size. She'd arrived early in the evening and noticed that he was preparing dinner.
"Can I help? I miss cooking," Sirana said, hoping he would say yes.
"If yeh don' mind," he said gratefully. "I get tired o' cookin' fer meself sometimes. Yeh have ter eat with me though."
"Well then,why don't you sit,and I'll cook for us,"she offered.
"I'm afraid I don' 'ave much ter work with, bu' yer welcome ter any o' it," he said, sitting at the table.
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A Soul Undiminished—Severus Snape
She worked as they talked, mostly listening as Hagrid told her about Aragog, and how he was worried about him. She personally didn't like spiders, but she didn't like to kill them either. If she found one, she usually just caught it and let it outside. She'd never met Aragog over her summer with Hagrid, but the way he described him, she was glad she hadn't. She roasted some meat and potatoes and added some herbs and onions. There really wasn't much more to work with, but she did what she could to make it appetizing. When it was done, he poured them both a pint and she brought the plates over. She gave him the largest share, because she wasn't really hungry, but she wanted to sit and eat with him, so she'd made herself a plate too.
He took a bite and smiled. "Mmmm...this is good! And yeh did this with jus' wha' I already had, eh?"
"Thank you. You're too kind, Hagrid," she said, happy that he liked it.
"I usually eat a' the school during the school week, bu' there's nothin' like a home-cooked meal," he said as he finished up.
"To that, we agree," she said. "Could I give the scraps to Fang?"
"O' course yeh can! He migh' complain the next time I cook though," he laughed, then said more seriously, "Promise me, Sirana. If yeh ever need anythin', yeh'll make sure ter let me know."
She answered with equal sincerity, "I promise, but only if you promise the same."
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Hagrid promised. He then offered to escort her home.
"Thanks, I'll be fine. It's not dark yet," she said, and headed home, enjoying the walk.
Sirana knew Severus would be home any time, so she hurried back. She was grateful when she entered Hogwarts because darkness had fallen quickly once she had left Hagrid's. She stayed up as long as she could waiting for Severus to return home. She knew Severus wasn't always able to share his plans with her, so she finally decided to go to bed alone.
Severus lay in bed waiting for Sirana to wake up, thinking about their future. He had never really thought about the long term, because he knew better than to hope for that. Now, he wondered what would happen to Sirana once he upheld his promise to Dumbledore and followed through with the Unbreakable Vow. Maybe she would stay at Hogwarts. Maybe she would leave with her grandfather. He wanted to tell her everything, but he knew he couldn't. He knew she would feel betrayed in the end though, and that pained him.
When Sirana woke up, she stretched and smiled at Severus.
Would she still look at me the same way if she knew? he thought.
"What's wrong, Severus?" she asked, as if she could see his mind wrestling with a dilemma. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I was just thinking about Draco," Severus replied, knowing that to be only part of what was on his mind.
Sirana moved to lay against him, absently trailing her fingertips over the hair on his chest.
Dread
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A Soul Undiminished—Severus Snape
"I've seen changes in him," Sirana contemplated. "It feels as if he is torn between being who his father wants him to be and finding his own path. I know you've promised to keep an eye on him, but it seems like he's already lost...and I don't know what it would take to bring him back."
Severus knew how insightful her words were. He wanted to tell her that Draco was at a turning point in his life—and that Severus himself was entrusted with his soul. He knew that wasn't possible, and although it might lighten his own burden, it would put a burden on her that she didn't deserve to carry. Moreover, she might try to interfere, and that would put her in danger. He felt that in his bones, so he chose to bury it for now. There would be plenty of time for pain and regret when it all came to pass, he was sure of that. For now, he would imagine that all was right with the world and that there could be a life for them together, unmarked by the painful choices of his past or his future.