Severus Snape A Soul Undiminished

Chapter 34 - Courage

Sirana's emotions were torn. She was relieved to hear news of her grandfather, as it made her feel more grounded in reality, but she was dismayed to hear of the circumstances
surrounding her neighbors' death. There was so much to absorb. Some sort of magic had taken her from her grandfather's side and delivered her here, to a different time.
Severus seemed distraught. He must have been close with her neighbors. She hoped he didn't blame her—or her grandfather—for their death...A part of her wished her grandfather would have told her the truth about him being a wizard, and even that he would have taught her magic. Maybe she could have done more. She retrieved her wine and sat, waiting for them to talk privately. What had happened to her was not nearly as grievous as the emotions Severus was experiencing at the news. She wished she could comfort him in a way that would strip him of his pain. She had felt it in him before, buried deep within him, a love lost. He was a passionate man, and he felt deeply. She was no stranger to pain, and she knew the courage that he must hold to fearlessly love again. She held that in her thoughts, looking at what it meant to her. Yes, she knew he loved her. He had not said the words, but she
  |171|

A Soul Undiminished—Severus Snape
had felt it, and she too loved him with a courage that would not relent, that would transcend even death.
Albus and Severus made it back over to apologize to Sirana for their absence. Albus spoke to them, his tone more hopeful, "I am making arrangements for your grandfather to come for a visit. I believe there may be answers that he may hold for you, Sirana. It may be a month or two before he can make it. He has had some health issues, but he assures me he is feeling much better. I have the feeling that he is making preparations so that he doesn't have to return. He has been away too long, and now, he has ties to which to return, and possibly remain."
Sirana was elated. "That would be wonderful. I have so much to tell him," she said, tears forming again in her eyes.
Severus could see that they were joyful tears this time. He stepped over to where she was sitting to place a hand on her shoulder and bent down to kiss her on her head. He could feel the connection with her, and it was unbreakable. Severus had surprised himself at how deeply these events had affected him. It brought so much from the past to the forefront—the heartbreak, the shame, the desperation, the grief. It all seemed to fade when he was with her. He looked at her now, and he knew that whatever was revealed about the past, his life with her filled any void.
Dumbledore looked fondly at the two of them. "Before you go, Severus, we have to find our new resident a place at Hogwarts. I can arrange for the rooms adjoining yours to be for her, as to allow close quarters without the appearance as such to our students and teachers. However, we need to assign her a
|172|

Courage
position so that she may earn her keep." Albus smiled at that, then continued, "What would you recommend that would be suitable?"
Severus thought only momentarily before offering, "Sirana was a Physical Education teacher before. I have since been made aware that she might provide invaluable instruction to students in the art of hand-to-hand combat. Perhaps she could work with Madam Hooch as an assistant?"
Professor Dumbledore perked up at that, "It seems as if our path has been laid out before us. That is, if Sirana agrees."
"That would be wonderful," Sirana said. "I don't know how ever to thank you."
"You have done more already than I could ever repay you for," Albus said tenderly, taking her hand in his once again. He leaned in and said quietly, "You are as lovely as I remember your grandmother. She and your grandfather were dear friends of mine. I see their fire and courage in you—and eyes of blue flame. Whatever life you make here at Hogwarts, we will all be the better for it."
That was the last time Severus spoke with Albus Dumbledore before hearing the news that the Headmaster had escaped the attempt by Professor Umbridge and the Ministry to have him dispatched to Azkaban to await trial for conspiracy. The student organization, dubbed 'Dumbledore's Army,' was led by Harry Potter, and the Ministry had accused Professor Dumbledore of amassing an army to seize control of the Ministry. Severus felt the sharp sting of failure at having been unable to protect the
|173|

A Soul Undiminished—Severus Snape
knowledge of the student's secret organization. In Dumbledore's absence,Professor Umbridge had assumed the role of Headmaster, and Severus feared the possible threat to the school this could pose, as well as to his own mission. He knew he must not allow this complication to distract him from his focus, and he planned to continue his lessons with Potter regardless of the trials facing the school.
This evening, however, had not went as Severus had planned. He didn't know what had set him to attack the boy by throwing insults about his father. Actually, he did know. He had said that the boy was weak, like his father, but he knew differently. He also knew that he must use all that was in his arsenal to give the boy a fighting chance. When Harry had turned to attack his own thoughts, Severus revealed his own weaknesses, but those were of the past. Even though he would never be rid of the past, he was no longer weak, and he was able to keep Sirana from being revealed in his thoughts. Harry was as prepared as he could ready him for, and it was becoming dangerous for both of them to continue. He tried to tell himself that was the only reason he had abruptly ended the lessons with Potter, and yet, he still felt the sting of shame and regret. He knew he must maintain a balance of appearances versus outcomes. He also knew that neither Lucius nor Voldemort must learn of Sirana, and if they did, he must be prepared to explain, or at worst—he couldn't consider that yet. He must not fail...he cannot fail.
Every day at Hogwarts with Umbridge as Headmaster brought new levels of shockingly ridiculous decrees and equally absurd punishments for the students. Severus was no longer supplying Headmaster Umbridge with genuine Veritaserum,
|174|

Courage
although she had already used the truth serum to force Cho, the amicable Ravenclaw girl, to divulge her knowledge of the student's secret meetings. Professor Snape wasn't usually inclined to involve himself in the sophomoric politics of the students at Hogwarts, but it had not gone unnoticed to him that the once popular student was being shunned by the other students because of the unfortunate circumstances of her betrayal, to which they were unaware. Severus had wondered at the girl's unwillingness to defend her actions with the truth that she had been coerced by the use of the forbidden potion.
Severus set off to begin his mission for Lord Voldemort, tasked with ensuring Lucius Malfoy did not fail to obtain the prophecy from the Ministry of Magic, which would be used in an attempt to thwart the prophecies' ill omen. Before he was able to make his leave from Hogwarts, he was called by Argus Filch to Headmaster Umbridge's office for a supposedly urgent matter. There would still be time if he hurried. He wasn't overly surprised to find Professor Umbridge up to her usual imperious measures to interrogate the students, but he was a bit astonished that she would be so brash as to not even attempt to conceal her abhorrently outrageous torment of the students. Severus entered the Headmaster's office to find Harry Potter in the hot seat. Headmaster Umbridge had summoned Severus to supply her yet again with more Veritaserum. He used the opportunity to not only inform her that there was no more to be found, but that she had used the last of the supply on Cho. He found some satisfaction in seeing the realization of that knowledge cross the faces of those who had questioned the girl's loyalty. He was dismayed with the revelation of Harry Potter's cryptic words,
|175|

A Soul Undiminished—Severus Snape
"He's got Padfood at the place where it's hidden," which were obscure enough to confuddle Umbridge. Severus replied, "No idea," as if oblivious to the meaning of the riddle, knowing that he must now hasten his departure to share the intelligence with the Order of the Phoenix. Once again, he must find a way to navigate his clandestine commitments to the Dark Lord along with his loyalty to Dumbledore and his students.
Severus sat in his study,alone,brooding over the circumstances that had resulted in the ending of Headmaster Umbridge's rein, bringing about the rightful reinstatement of Headmaster Dumbledore. The death of Sirius Black weighed on him, and despite his turbulent relationship with the wizard, he mourned his loss and even what that loss would mean to Harry Potter. Even with the return of Albus and the protection his presence bestows, Severus's foreboding that Hogwarts and the Ministry would not long survive unscathed drove him to the solitude of his somber thoughts. When he heard the light tap on the door, he was mercifully brought from his thoughts by the welcomed reminder of the unexpected and mysterious gift that was Sirana. He took a deep breath, and as he slowly exhaled, he felt his mind settle into a more comfortable state...determination.