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Thanks so much @JoJulis for requesting! Sorry about the inconvenience earlier.
@JoJulis is the author of the mystery/thriller novel called 'Petrichor'.
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Let's get right to it!
Cover:
I like the colour used for the title and the purple flowers at the side. They add a level of brightness to the plain background, creating a rather wonderful contrast.
The cover doesn't really reveal much about the story but it creates a form of curiosity enough to go through the blurb and be drawn into the story.
Blurb:
It goes straight ahead to introduce the character and his purpose. It seems like yet another story of ordinary life through description of the town. But I'm glad to say, however, I was shocked by the fact that it is not so, which made me want to go further in the pages of the novel.
Plot:
A vivid description brings the plot to light. I find out Richard's nature, where exactly he finds himself and his plans. But I commend how you didn't reveal absolutely everything about him. It'll be nice to be surprised by some unknown quirk or quality Richard might possess. I see this same technique in how the plot gives time for some form of normal to rest over the town and smoothly introduces the mystery through Nicoolo and Richard's conversation.
Grammar:
Your choice of words awakens the imagination of the reader. The spacing and paragraphing is not much of a problem. The only distinct issue is speeches from different people right next to each other during dialogue.
Instead it should've been something like this,
(An extract from 'Petrichor')
The interaction between Richard and the guard in chapter two should've been:
"Ah, I'm the new tenant from Michigan?"
"Ah right. Well..."
And not:
"Ah, I'm the new tenant from Michigan?" He said."Ah right. Well..."
It makes the book look uncoordinated this way.
But there are hardly any grammatical and typographical errors.
Characters:
Can I just say how much I love the diversity in your characters! There's a Filipino, Japanese, Russian...that got me really excited.
It's also admirable how Richard sometimes speaks his local dialect, even though he doesn't usually mean to. Again, 'Aponi Bation' is probably one of the most unique names I've ever heard!
Go diversity!
Generally:
I believe you should simply remain consistent. Your book has so much potential which would be recognised and given the credit it deserves if the right changes are made.
Thanks so much for requesting!
Please check out @JoJulis 's wonderful novel!
https://my.w.tt/tONiU5xOecb
Have a wonderful day and I'm happy to say I've gotten one more request! I assure you my partners and I are going to work on the other requests as soon as we can! Thank you for your support 😊.
