The Light That Shine Bright In The Dark

Chapter 13

I was breathing hard when I reached the washroom. I was lucky enough that there was no one in sight. I held the sink to steady myself since my leg was almost giving out on me.

I drew my shaking hands under the running faucet and splashed the water on my face, the water blending with my tears.
It's not a big deal. Get a grip, you are over reacting. That's what every teenager do, they kiss anywhere anytime. Don't deny yourself the simple pleasure of trying new thing and being the Normal teenager you are suppose to be. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself, the pain was still there and my own words didn't settle in my mind.

I collected myself when I heard the bell ring, swiping off the last tears on my cheeks. I walked out deciding to bury everything behind and concentrate on the few classes before home.

The last hours were painfully long maybe because I was drifting out and couldn't concentrate much. When I heard the final bell break through the quiet environment, I was quick to make a move. Collecting my book and stationaries, I raced for the exit as if my life depended on it.

I came to a halt infront of my locker and hurriedly retrieved my bag trying to make sure that I didn't run into Sawyer since his locker was just a foot away from mine.

I let the cool afternoon air run freely into my lungs once I was out of Ridgemount high. I decided to walk as fast as I could but was drawn to a halt by a hand that pulled me. I came face to face with Sawyer whose face was contorted with guilt.

"Hey, am so.." before he could finish, Roy stood by my side placing his hands on my shoulders. Sawyers eyes traced on where Roy's hands were.

"Honey. Shall we depart? We don't have time to kill since we have to study chem and the exams will be up soon." I hesitated but nonetheless nodded my head while my eyes were still fixed onto Sawyer's. A painful look crossed his features but was soon gone when he shook his head and flashed a not-so-real smile before walking away with his hand in his pocket. I couldn't place the feeling that crawl in the pit of my stomach. Was it guilt what I was feeling? I disregarded the thought. It couldn't be that, hell it should not be that because he didn't deserve it.

"Shall we?" Roy's voice broke me from my reverie causing my recent thoughts to flow away. I nodded taking steps and we both fell into steps as we walked to home.

We came to a stop infront of my house and as usual Roy hugged me.
"You look distressed are you fine?" Roy scrutinised his eyes studying me.

"I have a headache, I think it's due to the works that are stressing me." He nodded in understanding.

"I think we should delay the study then. Take rest and do call me when you are well enough ready..." he paused as if he remembered something important. "Oh you dont have my number. Give me yours I will text you." He fished out his phone and I dictated as he typed my number.

He walked away while I stepped into the dark warm house. I headed straight to my room as quiet as I could since I realized that Ashley was napping.

Throwing myself onto my welcoming bed, I drew the covers over my body while my mind raced with memories. I tried to cool myself and block out the memory of Sawyer's lips against mine. When I realized that it was getting harder, I seized my phone from the nightstand and plugged in my earphones turning on an ear blasting song. I fell a sleep listening to the lyrics of a song I wasn't familiar with.

                             ____________

Cold. I felt something cold seeping the heat away from my cheeks. I touched my cheeks too lazy to open my eyes. Turning to my left side, I felt someone standing beside my bed but shut my eyes tightly mentaly scolding mysely for being illusional.

I felt a touch on my hair and jolted up opening my eyes. I was breathless and startled to say the least when a pair of crystal blue eyes reached out to my vision.
Sawyer stood beside my bed making me realise that he was stroking my head prior.
I wondered how he got to my room since he had no idea where it was located in the four rooms of this house. The door was locked too, I did it when I came from school and I had no idea how he got past the gate.

"Ashley; your aunt guided me to your room." He spoke when he read the confusion in my eyes. "I came to say sorry for what I did today. It was so stupid of me and guilt won't let me settle. I was mad at Roy that I thought.." he exhaled deeply running his hand through his dark hair.

I didn't know what to answer him but deep down there was this feeling and urge to let everything go and give him a tight hug. I cursed myself internally for having such a thought. "I wasn't expecting that from you." It was a matter of fact for Sawyer didn't appear to me once as a bad guy.

"I didn't expect that from myself too. Am disappointed with myself more than you are. Anger took the better side of me and I always had a bad record when it comes to self control." He pushed himself down on my bed and sat facing me. "Will it be too much to ask for forgiveness? Can you bury this down as a mistake made by someone who has overcame it...please?" He reached for my hand, holding it firmly. Looking at his eyes that were shinning with  sincerity and hope, I knew what my answer would be.

We all at some point made mistakes, terrible ones and one mistake doesn't define a good person bad. I had to let it go even though the memory of his hostility won't ever leave my mind. I smiled at him, nodding my head to affirm to his apology.

"Thank you." He moved closer to hug me as his lemon manly scent fought it's way upto my nostrils. I gave in to the hug scraping the feeling that flamed in my heart.