scars // johnnie guilbert

chapter 15**

[this chapter contains mentions of: self harm, attempt and suicide. please read safely.]

storm's pov:

next day at school he's worse. messy as fuck hair (his hair is messy either way, but today is REALLY messy), no eyeliner and no effort to just fix himself up like he usually does.

we're now at the event room, watching a stupid theatrical show the music teacher organized. we're sitting at the very back and it's really loud cause the kids just can't shut their mouths. i don't mind tho, cause i can talk to johnnie.

"how are you feeling today?" i lean in his ear.

"like shit, you?" he gave me a big fake smile.

"you're telling me everything once we're free in...10 minutes." i looked at my watch.

"i can't wait to go home and just sleep, really." he got lower on his seat.

i'm feeling really bad about him and i wonder what's going on inside his head. probably not very positive stuff and i understand why.

once the school bell rang, i saw how all the kids were rushing to get out of here as if the building was on fire. how the fuck can they walk so fast?

anyways, i need to talk to johnnie. maybe invite him over for dinner? my parents are missing for work, so we can talk about everything.

as we were ready to walk out of the building, i grabbed his hand and pulled him in the backyard.

"what are you doing?" he chuckled.

that was hella cute.

"you seem like you've ran out of eyeliner today." great time to make a joke storm.

"i wish this was my only problem. i really fucking do." he kicked off something in the ground.

"okay, here's what we're gonna do. you'll come to my place, eat pizza and then talk about it, yeah?" i gently grab his shoulders.

he shook his head and look around.

"YES! i can see it's eating you alive whatever that is. i don't know if it's from yesterday or something bad came up to your mind today, but i'm here to listen and hopefully help you." i comfort him, i hope.

he exhaled but nodded. i brought him in a hug and rubbed on his back to let him know it's okay to feel like shit sometimes. his hands are hugging my back and i feel him shaking.

"hey, it's gonna be okay. let's go home." i messed up his already messed up hair and he playfully hit my shoulder.

*15:37 pm*

johnnie was laying in my bed, hugging my nirvana smiley face pillow and i'm sitting next to him. i put on some music on youtube, so it won't be that quiet and awkward.

"hey, listen... it's gonna hurt me nuts, but at the same time i wanna tell you everything." his voice broke at the end, but he covered it up with a choke.

"do what your heart is telling you to. if you're not ready, we can just watch funny videos and laugh our asses off." i smile.

i hate pushing people to say or do something when they're not ready. i like to give them time and space.

"no, i want to get this out of my chest." he stand up to a better position and got the hair out off his face.

i nod, letting him continue.

johnnie's pov:

"i'll try to be quick. 4 years ago, i moved in with my mom and stepdad to a new house for the 3rd time. i met a friend, his name was mike. we became best friends from the first day and i would talk to him about everything and he would do the same. we were both 13 and had some issues. i stopped cutting for the amount of time we were talking, which was almost 2 years. i thought i helped him too, but one day he called me a-and..." i stopped, taking a deep breath.

"he told me that he was thankful for everything i've done t-to him and i should k-keep going. we made a promise to keep each other alive, but he's a beautiful angel now, looking down on us. after he left, i tried to commit suicide twice, but didn't make it." i broke down in tears.

she wrapped her arms around my body and was making small circles of comfort on my back i snuggle my face under her chin like the crybaby i am. i absolutely hate letting people see this side of me, but we're talking about storm. there's something about her that's making me feel safe and be myself. she's different.

in no way i'm replacing mike, i just need someone to hold me and right now, storm is the only one.

"i'm so sorry you went through all this. i know the feeling of losing someone so unexpectedly...but as you said, he's looking down on you and he's so so so proud of how far you've come." she was messaging my head and i somehow found myself calming down.

"he passed on the 24th, christmas eve. that's why i hate christmas." i closed my eyes.

"shit...that must've been one of the worse things.." she looked into my eyes and i remembered her grandparents.

not wanting to make this day any sadder and emotional, i told her to watch a movie and she agreed. she put on, i think «uninvited». i haven't seen this one before, but she told me it was horror. i love horror movies, so i don't mind at all.

hey emos! i'm trying to make the chapters longer than i used to when i started, so i hope it's not very boring and annoying 💀

i know today's xmas, but i don't really like this day so rip 🥴
i still wish merry christmas to all these people who ain't dead inside like me LOL

as always, have a great day / night / whenever you're reading this and keep smiling <3

cya next chapter!