Dangerous Woman | Jeon Jungkook

Part 37

Jungkook

A few days after the incident on the highway, I'm now mentally getting ready for the encounter with the person I want to see the least. Elaine is supportive of everything I do, no matter what my decision is, but after thinking about it for a long time, the best solution is probably to put an end to it all. I can no longer accept being followed everywhere by him and having everything I'm about to rebuild destroyed.

The only problem is that I don't know how to face him. Too many years have already passed that I have seen his face, heard his voice, and seen him standing in front of me. I can't help but want to hate him, but I can't even get that to happen. No matter how hard I try, I can't hate the person responsible for all those years full of heartache.

Because of that, I met Elaine.

Even though the last five years have passed like torture for me, I can't complain, because the last months with her have sealed and cleansed all my wounds like a soothing healing ointment. She is my cure, my life source and I can't and don't want to think about never having met her. I should be grateful for everything because through her I have been able to perceive the taste of true love and have found the meaning of life. After I met her, an inner peace came over me and I became a calmer person.

Except for all the actions and words with which I hurt her, of course. I still feel bad and guilty and am desperate to know what I can do to make her forgive me. She has already said she forgave me, but I don't deserve it so easily. The tears that fell from her beautiful eyes were because of me and it hurts me a lot.

But that is me. That was me. I have always stayed away when I was angry. Distance from the person I love and cherish made sure I was protecting that person from hurting them even more. I needed to sort out my thoughts, be alone a bit so I could vent my anger without completely destroying everything around me. However, I didn't really manage to do that. I hurt her despite wanting to protect her from me, and that's something I can't easily forgive myself for.

"Do you want me to make you a sandwich for the ride?" Elaine asks, coming out of the bathroom with a hot water bottle pressed to her stomach. "I know you'll get hungry."

"No, thanks. I'll just grab something on the way." I take her hand in mine and lead her to the bed, where I pull the covers over her legs. "Are you sure you're okay here alone?"

"It's just period cramps, Jungkook. I deal with it every month."

I swear to God, women are so strong. I don't know what I would do if my dick was bleeding every month.

"I know, but still," I say, indicating an alternative. "I can stay here and make you tea and—"

"Jungkook." she interrupts me, taking my face between her hands. "I know you don't want to go and you're making excuses right now. But we talked about this baby, hmm?"

I sigh. "I know I have to go. But I don't know if I'm ready to face him."

"I don't want to force you to go, and I offered to go with you, but you refused." she retorts and I immediately nod my head, the thought of her meeting my father sickening me. "You have to face him to find closure. To be happy."

I sigh again, realizing she's right. She's always right and the truth behind all her words nags at me. I have to face things, no matter how unwilling I am, and no matter how undeserving my father is. I have to do it for me. I have to do it for us.

"You know it sucks sometimes that you're always right," I chuckle and she rolls her eyes playfully. "We can't even have angry sex when I get back."